Influential versus Supportive Word Choice
I maintain that it’s the details that affect the success of a story much more than the concept, the plot, or any of the big picture items. Whether it’s a tone of sincerity or just accuracy in the mundane, the difference between a good book and a great book are the small things.
Word choice in particular. Anyone who has
given me something to read has found most of my focus oriented around deleting and altering sentence format and style. I
am exactly the sort of editor to cut the word “stupid” and yet ignore the fact
that your character is now walking in the park despite having died twenty pages
ago.
It’s not necessarily a good thing. In fact, I’d argue you want to seek out readers who do not do this, at least not in the earlier stages.
That being said, I’ve developed an eye for the way that small words change the mood of the entire scene, and it’s not as simple as the anti-adverb coalition wants to make it. Though the balance between big picture and little picture
details is important, today I’m only going to focus on the more ignored side.
Word choice can change everything about a description
without requiring alteration of the events. It is powerful because it is always
an option, something that is easily fallen back on when the author needs to fix
something, but wants the story to stay the way it is.
This is why many “rules” supplied to us by creative writing teachers center around inane things like “don’t use said,” and “beware
passive-sentences!” Despite being irritatingly exaggerated and seemingly
miniscule when it comes to their importance, this commonly repeated advice does
has a point and a huge benefit.
However, it’s not so much about bad or good. Instead, it’s useful to see words as “influential” versus “supportive,” a concept that will
hopefully lead to a lot more understanding when it comes to seemingly inane editing
comments.
Most words are influential. They, by nature, sway the tone,
atmosphere, and general feeling of the reader to the intended direction.
Supportive words, however, are better defined as neutral, sustaining the tone,
atmosphere, and general feeling to keep going with whatever it has been so far.
Take for instance the difference between “screamed” and
“said.”
Screamed is influential. When used, it illustrates a
specific context. Said, however, is supportive. It can mean anything we want it
to. While we can only scream something in a limited number of ways, the way we
can “say” something is infinite. I can scream when I’m upset or scared or maybe even excited, but less so when I’m calm or tired. I can say something while terrified, upset, calm, angry, happy, or pretty much any emotion I might be experiencing.
Supportive words tend to be, what I call, base words. They
are often used in the definition of their synonyms, accompanied with an
adjective. Screamed, for instance, might be clarified as, “he said loudly.”
Things like “walk,” “sit,” “look,” and anything else you might find in a “Dick
and Jane” book will often be supportive.
As anyone who’s ever been in a creative writing class is
aware, the concept of whether or not to use said is a fairly heavily debated
one, teachers often commenting to “never” or “only.” This, of course, causes a
lot of confusion because, like anything absolute, neither never nor only is
correct.
How do you know when to use the base word and when to come
up with something more creative? Most commonly, and off topic, it has to do with how many times it’s been used in the past.
Essentially, don’t over do it.
More to the point, teachers will further that
someone should only use said because the tone should be clear in the dialogue.
This, of course, is ridiculous because there’s lots of ways for text to be
interpreted, which is why your text messages to your girlfriend always get you
yelled at.
Sometimes, and this is an important technique to utilize, we
can alter a text to hint at what we want, which solves the problem of having to
tell them fairly well.
Yet, for those of us who don’t want to do that, it comes
down to a simple question of why is the word said, or lack thereof, a problem?
“Said,” being a supportive word, adds nothing to the
conversation. It benefits the writer when he wants to either a) tell the reader
who is talking or b) lengthen the time between two pieces of dialogue. It supports whatever has
already been indicated and does not conflict with the interpreted tone.
Other words, however, influence the reader, introducing a new tone to the situation. This can be beneficial and negative depending on the situation. As a consequence, it may contradict an original assumption, making the sentence jarring. In fact, there doesn’t have to be an original assumption for this to eject the reader. If they had none, the sudden introduction still throws them for a loop.
Positively, the influence persuades the reader to read it
the correct, or at least intended, way in the simplest manner possible, whereas
a supportive sentence doesn’t.
Take, for instance, the phrase, “Hello.”
A dog hops up onto a man’s lap. We can say:
“Hello,” he said.
Or…
“Hello,” he laughed.
The first leaves some mystery and doesn’t
clarify how he is feeling about a dog in his lap. It can be assumed, based on the context, that he
isn’t mad. But, on that note, it doesn’t really indicate any actual opinion. It
supports the scene by allowing it to go in which ever direction the author may
lead. It does, as a positive, make the scene appear more organic. On the other hand, the
second announces the man’s clear opinion on the subject, which, as I’ve
discussed before, is always more interesting than no opinion. Though the first
doesn’t make the man unlikable, the second influences the audience’s feelings
much faster. We know he likes dogs without having to specifically say it. Showing, not telling.
Sometimes you’ll want the first and sometimes you’ll want
the second.
Often, the use of the word said is best when any other
opinion tweaks the events in an undesirable way.
The most common example I give of this is a story in which
twelve children are introduced through nothing but dialogue.
First, it must be noted that the author was clearly trying
to come up for a synonym for said in each sentence. This is an important factor
because, in writing, the audience should never (as a default) be thinking about what the
author is doing. The problem from not using said comes from this very instance
of the story not being organic and simply looking like the author is trying to
come up with more than one word.
The sentence, however, that stayed in my mind was:
“‘How would you know? You’re like twelve,’” she informed
him.
Informed is an influential word that alters my image of her
facial expression. In this case, it guided me
in a direction I didn’t want to go.
Firstly, informed is not technically correct. She was not
explaining his age to him, she was mocking him. This sort of thing we can over
look because, hey, the author is entitled to have some sarcasm here or there.
The main focus of the issue is that, while I pictured the sentence as blunt and
disgusted, informing made it feel condescendingly smooth. It changed the
motivation of why she was telling him, her tone, and her facial expression. In
this case, it was in a manner that ruined the humor in the sentence.
Influential words can be dangerous because it now restricts and limits the mood. Readers are more imaginative and better at organically filling in the blanks than what an author can explain. Supportive words allow for more leeway,
giving the author the reader’s benefit of the doubt. These base choices leave
out details, meaning that the writer does not need to think of them or admit to
them.
That being said, attempting to waddle in indecision is a
common mistake for an author. Books are supposed to be influential, the writer
is supposed to tell the reader what the creator is thinking, and, in all honesty,
influential words are much more interesting.
Knowing which words are supportive and influential and what
affect that has on the sentence, description, story, and tone, allows the
author to really recognize why he, or someone else, doesn’t like his sentence.
Have a problem with a moment? Consider the influence or lack thereof. Changing one
word can switch directions without any effort.
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