Writer’s Beware the Written Selfie
As a young woman in the beginning of my
publishing career, I once had the opportunity to lament my lack of selfies taken. Fact is, I didn’t have any pictures of myself period. This wasn’t a
problem until, ta-da! I published one of my first short stories and had a
request for a headshot.
Over the course of an hour or so, I positioned
myself in front of my bookcase in my Los Angeles apartment, throwing open all
my doors and windows to get the semblance of a good light, and orienting my
iPad to take a grainy picture of my minimal make-up.
The picture came out fine, but, shocker, looked like it was exactly what it was. Soon after I made my website and started to get more
involved with social media. The requirement for pictures grow steadily, and I
began to search for ways to make decently professional photos without breaking
the bank. I put more of an effort to get natural pictures of me to grab when I
need one.
For that reason, I’ve never disparaged selfies.
I see little difference between getting your friend to help you pretend like
you sitting in the park reading was a candid shot and snapping one of yourself
when you feel good. In fact, I think it’s a little more honest. Maybe less
interesting, of course, but when that girl in the bathroom has 524 likes, I
suppose I can’t criticize what is obviously in high demand.
Plus, I think it’s a good thing for women, or
anyone, to feel good about themselves.
Yet, the age-old adage, “Nothing is erased from
the internet,” proves true today, and you have to be careful about your image.
Posting on the internet is strange. It’s far
more intentional than any other social interaction—you didn’t just run into
someone in the market and the subject of Trump happened to come up—you were
sitting there by yourself, had a thought, decided other people needed to know, and make the
effort of writing it out, choosing your words, and deciding to post. You have
less control over who “hears” and, more importantly, your thoughts will linger
for years afterwards, haunting you.
The “writer’s selfie” is like the
photographical selfie except it is portrayed through text.
It can be tempting to use Facebook for
catharsis, a therapeutic means to discuss our fears and dreams, go on rants and
receive validation. That can be a highway to connecting with each other, that
being real and human. It can also bite you in the ass.
Sometime back I wrote “An Anecdote about Writers Judging Writers.” I discussed a man who lambasted self-publishers,
making a claim that if your book is self-published, there’s a reason. He later
had multiple problems with his small press and turned to independent publishing
as well. In it, it should be noted, he claimed, “I've also read books from
almost every author in here.”
Today I came across a different author
discussing an entitled rant of someone who started off by claiming he’d never
read a book since ’92.
“What you all don’t know is I haven’t read a
book since 1992. I had a story I wanted to tell like no other person ever could.
By not reading, I PURPOSELY lost touch with what the readers wanted. (a little
bit too much I guess) I thought by being original, people would flock tome.
(sic) Oh how wrong I was in that one, PEOPLE WANT THE SAME OLD SAME OLD. Not
only did I miss books like Harry Potter, but I missed out for no reason at all.
The world isn’t ready for someone that surpasses J.K. Rowling’s, or George RR.
Martin, (don’t look at my first 5 books, fucking asshole critics) (I didn’t
have their education, I was learning) I promise 6 would’ve far out done BOTH
J.K Rowling’s, as well as George RR. Martin, I CAN PROVE THAT WITHOUT A SHADOW
OF DOUBT!!!!!!Fuck you for even questioning me!!!!!!!!!!. Who am I? Nobody,
that’s just who I’m supposed to be I guess, as god commands it to be that way.
If you think I’m bullshitting, it took me almost 13 years to learn how to
write, do you honestly think I DIDN’T LISTEN TO THE READERS? Book 6 was what my
ORIGINAL story was all about in the first place, had to come up with all the
other 5 books on my own, really fun job to say the least. I guess nobody but me
will know the outcome now. People think it’s some kind of game when it comes to
authors. I’ll be the first to tell you to support them, or pretty soon you
might find yourself reading just an old newspaper clipping for entertainment.
I’m sick of the cheap assholes that read 3 chapters for free, never buying a
book. Goodbye to all the fans I had, maybe you can now spread the word of an
author that almost was. I guess late is better than never, unless you spend 13
years of your life devoted to it. I leave you all now with a question. What
will you do when the real authors of the world quit writing? Will you tell them
you were just getting ready to buy their books? We’ve all heard that one.
GOODBYE EVERYONE, this authors done now.”
When the name was revealed, I immediately
remembered him. Not only that, but I had quoted him before. He threatens to
quit about once every two months, begs people to buy his book, and fluctuates
between anger and sorrow.
So? He’s a writer. We’ve all been there, which
is probably why his rants intrigue so many people. But while you think that
your one bad day might just be lost in the sea of authors, your name might be
remembered and come back to haunt you.
I unfriended him after several of his negative
posts began to get to me, the initial curiosity and modicum of understanding turning
to irritation.
The main issue with self-publication these days
is how all the hardships are more public. You can find some comments made by
Jack Kerouac and Neil Gaiman and the like about their moments of doubt, by they
are limited, seen through the lens of eventual success, and generally are being
repeated by friends or the writers themselves, so not only can they taper the comments,
they’ve naturally died down from the anger and can be more logical.
What intrigued me most was that I remembered this
name. He’s not the only one posting comments like these, and I first ‘met’ him
some time ago. What scares me the most is that people are talking about him.
You’d hope that one of your dumber moments would be obscured and forgotten, but
the conversation about this guy started to grow and everyone it seemed had a bad experience with his sense of
entitlement.
I don’t share his name because I believe everyone
deserves a second chance. We learn over time how to be more communicative and
less judgmental, how to overcome our fears, and be funny about our bitterness.
It’s a slow learning curve to realize how you’re coming across, and the more
you work to improve yourself, the more you change, the harder it becomes to
really know who you are. But most of us get better with time. Not too long ago
I was reacquainted with a young writer who had filled his website with lies
about his greatness and indulged full-heartedly delusions of grandeur in an
expected, arrogant way. A few years later I found him again to see his attitude
altered, his advice more specific, his work improved, and his humility now
genuine.
As a writer, you don’t need to keep your mouth
shut. In fact, it’s your job not to. You don’t always need to pretend to be
strong or secure, but you should remember that social media is a public sphere,
a connection with your readers, and it creates an image about who you are. If
you look down on fellow writers, are angry that no one is giving you a chance,
or are disappointed how difficult the process is, it’s important to figure out
when and when not to say it.
The subject of this post deletes many of his
comments, yet negativity and ego fascinates people enough that his quotes are
still existent elsewhere on the internet, and not everyone is going to leave
your name out of it. It’s a scary world we live in today, and this serves
as friendly reminder to be careful.
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