Some months back, we had a get together and said, “Here’s what I’m going to change to make my life better.”
How’s it going?
Anyone else not really want to talk about it?
Anyone else not really want to talk about it?
It’s been a stressful goal in my life that when I say I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it. New Year’s Resolutions usually are worked on until March and then I start to make too many mistakes and feel disheartened.
But this year I didn’t even last a couple of days.
Ever since I hit 25, I have been trying to go back to the way I was at 18. Much more productive, ambitious, energetic, I achieved a lot of my goals right and left. This year, however, I’ve done a whole lot of nothing.
Part of it has to do with having no clue where my life is going. I wanted to move to New York, but a part of me wanted to stay here to be with someone. It made it hard to be active. And, as I said in my last post, when I wasn’t productive, it made it harder to be productive. I couldn’t make decisions because I didn’t know my goals. When that someone didn’t seem to be interested, but I wasn’t exactly willing to just end it either, I wasn’t able to really sit down and do what I needed, be in a daily routine.
After New York fell through and I decided to stay at least for the next five months, I proceeded to get a job, fell in love, and now find myself happier and more secure than I’ve been in a long time.
And like anyone does when truly happy, now I have the motivation to change my life. (Which is the saddest part of depression; you need to change your life the most then, but that’s when you do not give a shit or have the energy.)
New Year’s Resolutions aren’t ever just little random whims, but generally deep insight into what we want different about our lives, the part of us or our situations that we truly think changing would make us happier. They are usually constant. If we were to save them over time, we’d often notice how many of the resolutions stay the same each year.
I believe strongly in the power of actually trying to achieve your goals, no matter how unrealistic. And so, now that I feel up to it, while I still have more than half the year left, I’m going to dig into it. Now I just have to remember what they were…
Oh, right. I made a blog post about it:
1. When I foresee a problem, I will solve it immediately. (No, it won’t go away.)
No procrastination on the petty things. This will always be a work in progress, but I will be happier if I just return that tire today, fold up that laundry today, fix my windshield wipers today, etc.
2. When I give my word to do something, it will be prioritized.
I don’t do this a lot. Give my word I mean. But when I do, I’m going to do it first thing. I have a couple of books I have agreed to read and write reviews on. I should do it.
3. I will write every day (even if I don’t meet my quota.)
This is the big one. I’ve been flaking out badly. I’m going to reset my “counter,” and start from today instead of trying to make up for the last four months of nothing.
4. I will strive to be more sociable. Facebook does not count.
Ugh. I hate this one. I find my anxiety to be one of my biggest detriments. This will be the hardest, but most important.
5. I will read every Stephen King book by December 31st. Except the ones he publishes this year. That’s like the saying about having every person in China walking by and never ending because of the birthrate thing.
This one’s easier. I’ll have to do the math and see how much I have to read a day. For the most part I can get out 30 pages and honestly I don’t think I should try more than that or I’m setting myself up for failure.
6. I’ll start taking my own personal deadlines seriously again.
7. I will start eating breakfast. No, chocolate milk doesn’t count.
In order to have more energy, I will eat breakfast and dinner. This should be easier because now I’m working in a sandwich shop which gives me a meal, so I’m less likely to skip it.
8. I will not grieve about turning 26. Or any other age that I may happen to come across.
Twenty-five isn’t turning out exactly how I want it to, but I need to get over it.
9. I will be decisive. About what, I don’t know.
A direct correlation to my situation in January. I’m not too concerned now.
10. I will start making more concrete plans around long-existing goals.
Same same. Although I do think that I still need to be considering where I eventually want to live and the kind of job I want to have long term.
And I’ll add a couple because the fun of resolutions are telling someone what to do, even if it’s just yourself:
1. Update web comic weekly.
(I used to be really good about this.)
2. Write a new Storyof the Wyrd each month.
3. Stop biting the skin off my lip.
4. Drink more water and eat less sodium.
(I have really bad headaches and constant nausea, so I’m hoping this will solve it.)
5. Submit my book to agents before Dec. 1st.
The last one is the most important. I’ve written over 13 books, I’ve been editing this one for three years, and the truth of the matter is I am avoiding it. I know for a fact that the main difference between a professional author and an amateur is that the professional actually put his work out there. I’ve done everything from research to querying. Now I need to just suck it up.
So, join with me this year in attempting to make our January dreams come true. Rejuvenate our interest in our needs so that come 2016, we look on our lives and say, “What can I change?” and actually have to think about it for a moment.
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