Think You Know How to Resolve? Resolve this!

New Year's Resolutions 2020

So, here’s the problem: I’m in a pretty good place.

Rough, you know? Alas, alack, what’s a stress-addict to do?

Last year, my mother gave us cards to write down these so-called resolutions. I kept it, looked it over again this year, and then burned it in a Solstice bonfire for good measure. I don't remember exactly what was on it. (Take care of my body, value my free time, etc.) The important thing is, for the most part, I did it! And like most people, my resolutions were always things that I'd wanted for a long time.

The only thing I really want now is to finally trim out my apartment. I mean with literal trim. Because, Jebus, it’s cold in here. Yet actionable steps? I'm working on it. Actively. I've done it, I'm doing it.

So... now what?

Let’s recap:

Jan. 2019 – Working long hours at a job I’ve been trying to quit for over a year. Not writing. Not drawing. Not dating. So checked out on Lexapro that I’m pretty sure I stopped existing for a while.

Feb. 2019 – Same, but now add on the benefit of also doing Chicago the musical rehearsals every night and being constantly reminded I can’t dance.

March 2019 – Got a personal request to resubmit a play I wrote last year to this year’s festival. Won first place, was reminded that I do, in fact, exist.

April 2019 – Took a chance on a great guy. Worked out.

May 2019 – Got fired. No, I did not hit my coworker. I just came really close. ‘Nough said. Praise Jebus.

June 2019 – Went hiking at least once a week. Actually saw parts of my hometown that my introverted self has avoided for 30 years.

July 2019 – Celebrated my boyfriend’s birthday. Forth of July. Old friends visited.

August 2019 – Mom’s birthday. Worked with kids in the arts. Wrote a lot.

September 2019 – Wrote a lot more.

October 2019 – Drew a lot. Turned 30. Went to Hawaii. Switched to Prozac. Feel like a human again.

November 2019 – Making the Horizon is slated to be published September 2020.

December 2019 – I don’t remember by this point. Spent a lot of time making cards.

Yes, there are things I would change about my situation, but the procrastination aspect of resolutions is not a factor. What do I do with myself if not announce I’m going to do that thing I’ve put off for five years?

On Solstice, my friend and I threw Tarot Cards. In an uncharacteristically positive reading, my cards told me that I would achieve great success, as long as I could forgive, be decisive, and speak up for my viewpoints.

As I have been telling myself this year that words speak as loud as actions (people can’t magically know what you’ve done), this didn’t come as a shock to me, but considering how pessimistic my cards usually are, it was nice to hear a confirmation.

I have one true resolution this year: To be at peace.

I don’t know what that will look like, or how to get there, but I do know that I carry around the weight of the world on my shoulders. I worry about everyone, I am filled with resentment for taking out their stress on me from years past, and I can’t but help always feeling like I should be doing something.

So, whatever it takes, in the year 2020, I will find peace.

If you liked this post, want to support, contact, stalk, or argue with me, please consider...

Become a patron on Patreon
Liking Charley Daveler on Facebook
Following @CharleyDaveler on Twitter
Following @CDaveler on Instagram

Popular Posts