tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58142187661465336992024-03-12T20:39:49.358-07:00What's Worse than WasCharley Davelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00330943766540043166noreply@blogger.comBlogger489125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-57447618414807773352020-08-25T12:44:00.002-07:002020-08-25T12:44:54.597-07:00Making the Horizon Ebook Giveaway<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kEmHH8lg_Js/X0VqGtZ-FpI/AAAAAAAABLM/9vupRvAPk8A-beEhGrkrq-6JO486X3ISwCLcBGAsYHQ/s699/mthcovermarketing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="699" data-original-width="467" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kEmHH8lg_Js/X0VqGtZ-FpI/AAAAAAAABLM/9vupRvAPk8A-beEhGrkrq-6JO486X3ISwCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/mthcovermarketing.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div> <p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><i>Twelve struggling artists are spirited away into a fledgling reality becoming prisoners and gods over the sandbox world.</i></p><p>If you have been following along, my fantasy novel, <i>Making the Horizon</i>, is coming out this September. Less than two weeks! If you're interested in the story, but don't have the money, giveaways are an excellent way of supporting the book and getting to read it.</p><p>Join the Goodreads Book Giveaway below, and you might when!</p><p>Or, if you prefer, you can outright <a href="https://charleydaveler.com/makingthehorizon.html" target="_blank">buy</a> it.</p><p><br /></p>
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Giveaway ends September 14, 2020.
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<div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="background-color: white; font-family: arimo; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px; text-align: center;"><hr align="center" noshade="" size="2" style="box-sizing: content-box; color: #505050; height: 0px;" width="100%" /></div><div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-908995077812565133" itemprop="description articleBody" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arimo; font-size: 15.4px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: 1.4; position: relative; width: 550px;"><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="font-family: arimo; line-height: 21.56px;"><br /></div></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="background-color: white; font-family: Arimo; font-size: 15.4px;"><span style="font-family: arimo, serif;">If </span><span style="font-family: arimo, serif;">you liked this post, want to support, contact, stalk, or argue with me, please consider...</span></div><div style="background-color: white; font-family: Arimo; font-size: 15.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="background-color: white; font-family: arimo; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px;">Become a patron on <a href="http://www.patreon.com/charleydaveler" style="background: transparent; color: #6a6a6a; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Patreon</a></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="background-color: white; font-family: arimo; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px;"><span style="font-family: arimo, serif;">Liking Charley Daveler on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/authorcharleydaveler" style="background: transparent; color: #6a6a6a; text-decoration-line: none;">Facebook</a><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="background-color: white; font-family: arimo; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px;"><span style="font-family: arimo, serif;">Following @CharleyDaveler on <a href="https://twitter.com/CharleyDaveler" style="background: transparent; color: #6a6a6a; text-decoration-line: none;">Twitter</a><br />Following @CDaveler on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/cdaveler/" style="background: transparent; color: #6a6a6a; text-decoration-line: none;">Instagram</a><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="separator" style="background-color: white; clear: both; font-family: arimo; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpLast" style="background-color: white; font-family: arimo; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px;"><span style="font-family: arimo, serif; line-height: 21.56px;">Following </span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/follow-blog.g?blogID=5814218766146533699" style="background: transparent; color: #6a6a6a; font-family: arimo, serif; line-height: 21.56px; text-decoration-line: none;">What's Worse than Was</a></div></div>Charley Davelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00330943766540043166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-48326681496842485202020-07-14T10:11:00.004-07:002020-07-16T07:54:02.354-07:00Making the Horizon Excerpt<div><br /></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4FvhNJNFH0Y/Xw3hnLXWIEI/AAAAAAAABIs/VA5mtn1DsW82LRQwhP8H0tllyl6l-QrZACLcBGAsYHQ/s933/MtH%2BCover%2BFINAL%2BTN.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="933" data-original-width="616" height="500" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4FvhNJNFH0Y/Xw3hnLXWIEI/AAAAAAAABIs/VA5mtn1DsW82LRQwhP8H0tllyl6l-QrZACLcBGAsYHQ/w330-h500/MtH%2BCover%2BFINAL%2BTN.jpg" width="330" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>Spirited away to an blank world, twelve struggling artists find themselves capable of anything.</i></td></tr></tbody></table><div><br />Hello fans and strangers! </div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>Making the Horizon </i>comes out September 14th. Make sure to <a href="https://charleydaveler.com/makingthehorizon.html" target="_blank">preorder</a> your copy.</div><div><br /></div><div><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><b></b></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Tb-HiM3DyZc/Xw3l55rMHRI/AAAAAAAABJg/Apon0I6GBogguX4bprYkuHts8-WAbsKNwCLcBGAsYHQ/s2048/Chapter1%2BIllustration.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1026" data-original-width="2048" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Tb-HiM3DyZc/Xw3l55rMHRI/AAAAAAAABJg/Apon0I6GBogguX4bprYkuHts8-WAbsKNwCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h200/Chapter1%2BIllustration.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p><p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: garamond, serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">THE LAST DISAPPEARANCE<o:p></o:p></span></b></p>
<p style="line-height: 13pt; margin: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 13pt; margin: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 13pt; margin: 0in; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"></p><p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: broadway;">K</span><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;">eely remained in the
bathroom, bonking her head against the outside corner of the stall for a good
three minutes. Or it was an hour. It felt like forever, and a dumb part of her
thought the party might end before she could force herself to go back. The bathroom
echoed with her self-shaming long after a man entered. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Realization dawned, and she glanced down
to the urinal next to her before looking back to the man’s startled face. She
nodded, then left, head held high.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But her shoulders slumped when the thick
oak door thumped shut behind her. She stared dejectedly at the floor, listening
to laughter trickling from the ballroom. The hallway shielded her from
overwhelming sights and smells, yet the wave of energy socked her in the
stomach.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A red dress draped off her shoulders,
revealing too much and exposing her skin to the cold of the old building. She
should have worn stockings. She should have worn jewelry. She should’ve tried
for an actual hairstyle instead of letting her brown hair fall limp around her
face like static-charged laundry. If she wanted to make a splash, then she
should actually try!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Just because she wanted people to know her
name, did they <i>have</i> to look at her? Really? There should be a way around
it.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And, anyway, she <i>did </i>make her splash.
She made a big fat splash right in the middle of everyone, managed to put her
entire foot in her mouth. It was a good<i> </i>thing she couldn’t be picked out
of a lineup with her basic dress and generic hair, as <i>the Great Eric Stan</i>
wouldn’t remember her or her babbling.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Keely had come. She’d seen. She’d
embarrassed herself. Would anyone notice if she turned right instead of left?
Slipped out of the hotel lobby?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>On the other hand, why go to these things
to leave early? She could’ve stayed home and avoided <em><span style="font-family: georgia, serif;">all </span></em>the hearta—<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Keely Fletcher. Hello!” a familiar voice
rang out. Emily.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i>Give me strength.<o:p></o:p></i></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><i><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;">Keely plastered on a grin.
She had large teeth—a feature that irked the hell of her but got compliments
left and right. Her smile was the best thing about her, she supposed. Possibly
because it had more to do with the one complimenting than with her. It told
them, <i>I’m so delighted with your presence!</i><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When she first started playing “Golden
Retriever,” she feared it came off as disingenuous. Fake. A lie. But in a weird
way, it allowed others to be themselves, not worry about their impact on Keely.
It allowed her feelings to exist—inside—without consequence. With the big, dumb
grin, Keely approached the catalyst of her agony, the reason Keely had been
invited to this ceremony at all:<i> </i>Emily, her agent. Emily, the one person
who believed in her. The person who didn’t say, “You’re not ready yet,” but
“Get moving!” The woman who had no problem pointing out why Keely would never
succeed. And the reasons she would.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I
didn’t know you were here yet,” Keely said sheepishly.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If Emily noticed Keely’s embarrassment,
she didn’t bother acknowledging it. The agent offered an arm. “Had to work
late. You know.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Keely didn’t take the arm. “I did too,
actually, but <i>someone </i>was like, ‘Come to the party. Introduce yourself!
Drink, be merry! Act like a jackass in front of your peers!’”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“This is work,” Emily replied.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Emily was tall compared to a normal
person, but she <i>towered</i> over Keely, which clearly suited the agent fine,
not thinking twice about putting her hands on Keely’s shoulders to not so
subtly guide her back to the crowd. “I know how you feel about these functions.
But it is all about who you know. And you know nothing, and nobody knows you.
Fix that.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-outline-level: 1; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Emily, I’m not
feeling… capable. I should—”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What happened?” Emily demanded. “Don’t
look dumb. Why do you want to leave?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I didn’t want to come in the first
place!”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh? So why are you here?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“For you!”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I’m that special?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re that aggressive.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I know you better than that, Keely
Fletcher.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Keely had met her agent about six months
after Emily agreed to sign her. The young writer had decided that New York City
was the best place for her career. <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">(Or,
rather, the best place was anywhere but her hometown,</span> and New York at
least she’d heard of.) Keely asked Emily to lunch, and there was an immediate
ease between them. She liked Emily. Not at the moment. But they had an
understanding.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Eric Stan said my prose compares to
Edward Bulwer-Lytton,” Keely replied flatly.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Emily’s hand recoiled. “Ah.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I said,” Keely continued, not making eye
contact, “‘who the hell is that?’ And everyone laughed and laughed and
laughed…”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“<em><span style="font-family: georgia, serif;">Honey</span></em>,”
Emily said, distraught. “<em><span style="font-family: georgia, serif;">HONEY.</span></em>
Fake it ’till you make it! No one cares who Edward Bulwer-Lytton is. Keep the
conversation going.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“He was acting superior for an inane piece
of info. I’m willing to bet that he stored that little fact away <i>so </i>he
could make people feel stupid.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Would you like me to go talk to him?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“What? No.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I can. I can teach him not to mess with a
client of mine.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Keely smirked, shaking it off. “The issue
is that I was humiliated, and you walking in and making a scene will make it
worse. I would like a little control over the situation.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well, then, don’t take the bait,” Emily
said.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I am not wordy,” Keely sulked.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The agent, having already lost interest in
the conversation, searched with hawk-eyes for anyone famous in the crowd of
editors, agents, and successful writers. “Oh, honey. Yes, you are.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Keely stiffened. “If you say complex
thoughts in simple ways, people hear what they expect! You explain that social
events drain you, and they say, ‘Yeah, I’m super awkward too.’”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Emily blinked at her patiently.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“That’s not what I said! I said it’s
tiring. I’m tired. I’m overwhelmed. I know what to say. I am not allowed to say
it.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Says who?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Says the massive guilt and
embarrassment!”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You can’t embarrass yourself,” Emily told
her. The agent had locked elbows with her, now shifting Keely back and forth
through the ballroom like a dog on a leash.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The crowd parted for Emily, whereas Keely
always got swallowed. Toes squashed, shoulders bumped, lost in a group. Even
when directly next to Emily. The literary agent usually didn’t account for the
fact that Keely took up space too, often slamming her into anyone who didn’t
make way. And no one made way for Keely. She was short, yes, but it was like
she didn’t exist.<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“There is no such thing as embarrassing
yourself,” Emily continued. “You have an active imagination. I’ve read your
books.” She laughed, and Keely squinted an eye. “But that’s all it is. You
imagining someone else’s thoughts, their judgments, directed toward you. I
mean, did anyone actually say they thought you were stupid?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This was not a battle that could be won,
and they both knew it. Emily continued dragging her. “Keely, you have told me
one thing since we met. You told me your career was everything. You would do
whatever it takes. And dear God, you have to go to a party and meet people.
Your life is so hard. A Greek tragedy.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Emily didn’t need to lecture her; Keely
had made the same speech to herself when first walking out the door. What a
stupid phobia. What a stupid thing to dread.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Keely wasn’t too perturbed by the
self-proclaimed status of the <a name="_Hlk42760820">partygoers</a>. The
anticipation of the Toni Eliot Literary Award for Outstanding Literature took
most of their focus. Besides, she didn’t know who most of these people were.
She was <em><span style="font-family: georgia, serif;">supposed to</span></em>,
of course, like she was <em><span style="font-family: georgia, serif;">supposed
to </span></em>know of a Mr. Bulwer-Lytton. But in her personal opinion, the
things you were <em><span style="font-family: georgia, serif;">supposed to do
were immediately forgotten about when shit hit the fan.</span></em><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Some of my other clients are here,” Emily
said, still craning her long neck to see. “I’m sure you’ll get along
splendidly.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“As long as they don’t want to talk
literature,” Keely grinned sheepishly.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You’re smart. You think that everyone’s
going to think you’re stupid if you disagree with them. But believe you me, you
can’t be smarter than someone if you <em><span style="font-family: georgia, serif;">do</span></em>
agree with them. Take that knowledge to heart.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"> <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Ah.” Keely squinted up at her. “Do you
believe that? I can never tell with you.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her arm was almost jerked out of its
socket. Emily had found her target.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I mean,” Keely continued, voice loud over
the din, “you keep saying the world is horrible. ‘Accept it!’ But how does that
not exhaust you?” They moved swiftly through the crowd, Keely falling behind,
snaking along to stay in the path her agent cleared.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Then, suddenly, they stopped. Emily turned
and looked her dead in the eye. The youthful smile was gone. The height of her
chin, the energy in her face, all vanished, replaced by lines. Age. Stress.
“There are parts of the world you can’t change, Keely. So, the only thing we
can do is treat it like a joke and face it head on.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Disagreement never sat well with Keely. Her
teeth clenched to keep herself from saying, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">But
that’s not exactly true…</i> It came out anyway. “If you say something in the
right way, people will understand. You just have to think carefully enough—”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Keely, you’re under the impression that
what people think is so important. But it doesn’t <i>matter</i> what anyone
thinks; they don’t <i>know </i>what to think. You tell them, and they’ll
believe you. If you act like an idiot, they’re going to go with it. So, what do
you do?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Leave?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Emily, unamused, gave her a pointed look.
“That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You read unpublished books for a living.
I highly doubt that.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This spurred Emily on, digging her claws
into Keely’s arm. “I can’t be babysitting you all day. Your next book will need
some quotes. Find a cowriter. Make up stories with you and your famous
buddy-buddies for the interviews.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I know! I’m here! I’m smiling! What more
can I do?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Keep. The. Conversation. Going. Stop
thinking so much.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Emily’s people had snuck off to a
less-occupied part by the far wall, much to Keely’s relief. They were writers,
after all, and wouldn’t it be reasonable to presume they were stewing in their
own nerves and inadequate social skills? Every time she’d gone to one of these
things, there was <i>someone else </i>in the corner too. Someone else Emily had
forced into socializing. There were familiar faces here. If she actually tried,
really tried to make friends, maybe… They were all in the same boat. They all
wanted to make connections.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Right?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Keely straightened, reminding herself to
breathe.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was all kind of hilarious, actually.
She had things to say; she didn’t want to be punished for them.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And, boy, did <em><span style="font-family: georgia, serif;">that </span></em>lead to awesome conversations. On her last
event, she spent twenty minutes being talked at, trying to neither confirm nor
deny if she had actually heard of the “literary masterpiece” the stranger
praised, before it dawned on her—he hadn’t read it either.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yet now, even as her muscles relaxed, she
was quickly hit with another painful stomachache on spying the expression of a
teen girl. This young stranger was playing Golden Retriever if Keely ever saw
it, and she doubted that group was a bunch of dog lovers.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Don’t worry, though,” a tall,
black-haired man said, clapping a hand on the teen’s shoulder. “It’s a common
mistake. I, too, didn’t think about those things at your age.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>And how old was he? Keely mused. She
herself was fresh out of college—a BA in classical studies—but this guy had a
baby face too; couldn’t be <i>too</i> much older. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Hello, everyone,” Emily said, leading
Keely into the small circle. “This is Keely Fletcher. Her debut book, <i>Shielding
Sisyphus</i>, was released just a few months ago. Wonderful, satirical fantasy.
Amazing sales for a debut.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Keely stifled a snort.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Keely, this is Mike, Payton, Susan, and
Cara.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Cara, the teen, blushed underneath her
glasses and looked down as the others released a singsong, “Hi, Keely.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Cara,” Emily said, beaming, “is only
seventeen-years-old, but she’s been nominated tonight for her fantasy young
adult novel.” Emily’s laugh was like a music box—even though fake, it sounded
so beautiful. “In Cara’s query letter, she went on and <em><span style="font-family: georgia, serif;">on </span></em>about how naïve she was, and
she knew she was just a kid, and yadda, yadda, yadda. And what did I say,
Cara?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Still not managing to fully raise her
head, Cara smiled shyly. “That you’d represent me if I never, ever told anyone
my age.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Everyone laughed. Keely rubbed her throat,
feeling it tighten.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But they’d have to see me sometime!” Cara
joked, throwing out her arms. It was clear she didn’t know how long they were;
a hand smacked into the wall behind her with a loud thud. She recovered well
enough, not seeming the least bit surprised.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You just introduced her with her age, you
realize,” Keely muttered to Emily.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well, that was then.” Emily beamed at the
group. “It was not a good look <i>then</i>. But now, Cara’s successful. It’s an
accomplishment.” <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s too bad such a strong voice has to
come from such a mousey body,” the black-haired man said.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Cara turned bright red.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“And Mike,” Emily said quickly, “writes
young adult as well.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i>Mike. Mike. <o:p></o:p></i></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But not like that romance crap,” he corrected.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Oh yes. He’s eyeing much more of a…
literary career, as you say, eh?” Emily tipped her head at him, eyes flashing
warningly.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><i><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Mike rhymes with Ike.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><i><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That doesn’t help.
Just remember it, idiot. Cara, Cara, Cara.<o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I write essays as well,” he explained.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Payton is one of my longest clients.
Payton writes fantasy as well, so, Keely, you two might have a lot to talk
about. And Susan is with my agency—client of the dearest agent I know—working
on… poetry?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Susan nodded.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Emily sucked in a breath, letting the
silence within the group linger for an instant too long. Her eyes went wide,
and Keely’s stomach churned. Even the indomitable Emily had met her match with
these introverts, apparently.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Anyway,” the agent said quickly, “I have
so many people to see, but I thought that, as my clients, you would do well to
get to know each other. Right? We all benefit from being friendly!”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Goodbye, Emily,” Payton and Susan said in
unison. They both sucked down their cocktails, a disengaged glaze over their
eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>Payton,
Susan. Payton, Susan, Mike, Cara. </i>Keely studied them carefully. She only
had a brief moment in the awkward silence, unable at first to understand Payton
and Susan’s detachment, before Mike made it clear by opening his mouth.<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“As I was saying,” he continued to Cara,
“we all make simple mistakes when we’re young. Most times, you shouldn’t start
writing until you’re thirty because… what would you say?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Cara’s eyes looked pained, but she managed
to keep a grin on. “Well, hopefully, a lot more than now, if I’ve been writing
all that time.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t know,” the man continued, musing
to himself. “I’m so grateful that there wasn’t as much accessibility for young
authors back in my day. If people heard the idiotic things I said when <em><span style="font-family: georgia, serif;">I </span></em>was seventeen… my career
would be ruined!” He chuckled into his drink. “I thank my lucky stars I now
know the importance of not ending a sentence in a preposition, don’t you
agree?” he said, giving Keely an opening.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She peered at him, wide eyed, mouth tight.
<i>Tell him he’s being a prick.</i> She didn’t. His brow creased in confusion,
and he turned back to the girl.<i><o:p></o:p></i></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But all I’m saying is,” Cara continued,
stress giving her a blush, “I don’t understand why that’s a writing rule or
what the benefit is. And personally, I sort of think that if the rule is
important, it would become… you know, obvious what the problems are. But rarely
when I use one, I don’t see bad results.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Well, that’s what I’m saying. You’re
young. Of course you don’t see it. Wait until you are an adult and then all
your childish beliefs will get a new light.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>No one spoke. Keely’s face reddened. She
avoided Cara’s expression by scanning the room for drink.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Mike managed to see pretty well for
someone with his head up his butt, though, sending a glance around the awkward
silence before jumping to his own defense. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I was
so arrogant when I was young. Youth always are. It’s not a big deal. But you’ll
learn, Sarah. You will learn.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I hope so,” the teen said, swallowing.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i>It’s Cara, you idiot. </i>Keely
scowled. Her heart jumped. <i>Or was it Sarah? Sarah, Sarah…<o:p></o:p></i></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>If Cara was going to cry, she hid it well,
but her Golden Retriever smile didn’t come easy, not by any stretch. Keely
opened her mouth, but a thought struck: <i>Don’t you dare embarrass her, Keely.<o:p></o:p></i></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Excuse me,” Cara said pleasantly. “I want
to check my makeup before going on.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She didn’t look like she was wearing any.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She pushed past Keely, her face down,
stride quick, knee-length skirt swishing under her baggy, shapeless sweater.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Keely’s heart lurched, but Cara was gone
before she could even think of what to say.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Crossing her arms, Keely slowly turned
back to Mike. He was smirking. Keely’s lips tightened. <i>You do not want to
deal with this guy. You do not want to deal with this guy. Don’t make an enemy;
you’ll definitely have to talk to him again if you do.<o:p></o:p></i></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It must be hard to be so sensitive,” Mike
said. “I’m glad I’m not <em><span style="font-family: georgia, serif;">that </span></em>age
again.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The hitch in Keely’s throat tried to stop
her, and ordinarily it would have succeeded. But something about the look on
his face, the expectation of support…<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“How do you feel about Latin?” Keely
asked.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He debated. “The language?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yeah. I think it should be taught in
schools, personally. To everyone. All the time. Not because it’s particularly
useful or anything but because it is so smart sounding, don’t you agree?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Perhaps he tried to play along, his lips
twitching as he looked for a response, but eventually he managed, “What?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“We must do things, not based on effect,
but because of how they appear, right? To look smarter than we are. That’s what
you’re saying about prepositional phrases?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; mso-outline-level: 1; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He tensed.
“Prepositional phrases…”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It’s a <em><span style="font-family: georgia, serif;">Latin
</span></em>grammar rule,” Keely said. “It’s never been an English grammar
rule. A few arrogant… <i>gentlemen</i> back in the 1800s wanted to bring in
archaic rules because they sounded so smart. It’s all over the internet. Don’t
you do research before you give advice?”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“I don’t care what the internet says…”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She grinned. “Ah.”<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He opened his mouth to speak, but she was
already high-tailing it out of there. As much fun as it would be to get into a
public screaming match… to say exactly what she thought… to finally let it all
out…<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She needed to stop herself. Before
anything happened. Before she hurt any feelings, caused any gossip, let her
emotions embarrass her any more than they already had. She needed out.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Keely left the party quietly, a smooth,
unhesitating passage through the giant ballroom. She passed the chatting people
in suits and cocktail dresses, right by her blond bulldozer of an agent to the
coat check. She never looked up from her feet until she shoved through the
front doors and into the cool of the city night.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Catching her breath in a sob, Keely
clutched at her long black coat and gaped at the deserted line of buildings.
The moonless night flickered with a broken streetlamp. She saw no soul, no car,
only the light stuttering. Her face flushed and her eyes stung now that she had
a moment to feel embarrassed.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The Upper East Side could be quiet at
these hours, bars and restaurants sparse. Sometimes she’d walk home at night and
see nothing more than a cab or two. A few wanderers, sometimes the homeless and
raccoons meandered inside Central Park, but Keely headed up Fifth Avenue and
onto 82nd Street where closed bakeries and a few brownstones kept to
themselves.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i>I am dignified. I am level headed. I am
thick skinned.</i><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i>Or am I just a coward?<o:p></o:p></i></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Usually, it was nice to have a street all
to yourself, the peace of the wealthy a refreshing change of pace from the
crowded, convoluted streets of downtown.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i>You should’ve said something. In front
of her. You let that girl walk away feeling like a fool.<o:p></o:p></i></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Anger surged to soothe the pricks of tears
in her eyes. As she stormed off, heels clacking, the heat of her rushing blood
kept her from collapse. The movement in the dark of the alley didn’t register with
her.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The figure had been waiting beside the
stairs, back toward the corner of the building. How long he had been there, or
if she had been his primary choice from a room filled with successful literary
giants, it couldn’t be said, but he turned without hesitation and followed.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her thoughts muted the warning signs. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i>Cara handled it well. She walked away.
Like Eric Stan. You walked away. You weren’t weak. She wasn’t weak. You could
have said something, but you don’t know. Maybe she didn’t want you to. She
didn’t want a scene.<o:p></o:p></i></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><i><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></i><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;">The footsteps behind her
clomped, and Keely heard them, sure, but they meant nothing to her. Not then.
She was consumed with the smirking. The joy in their eyes as they got to talk
and talk without any fear—not a single fear of being punished for their own
bullshit! Neither would leave the party believing they’d done anything wrong.
Why had she hesitated?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Her steps were short and fast, the
stranger’s stride long and slow. He was catching up, but it didn’t concern her.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><em><span style="font-family: georgia, serif;">It
doesn’t matter</span></em>, she told herself.<i> This too shall pass. We’re
survivors. It’s one party. I can make friends next time. I can dazzle people,
dress better, speak better—<o:p></o:p></i></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A tickling at the back of her neck told
her something was wrong. Pausing briefly, she raised her head and finally heard
the world around her, understanding the sound of someone following. As she
turned to look, the man tackled her.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The dark shook with her screech.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>She slapped at him with her tiny purse.
She shoved. His hands were strong. Tears pushed through her clenched eyes,
running down her face. She kicked. She bit. His fingers around her arms
threatened to falter, and she shoved, but he didn’t give. The man merely
shushed her; he tried to seize her in his arms to hold her still. She did not
see his face, even when she clocked him across the jaw.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He let go, and she stumbled to run. Her
purse dropped to the ground; her ankles buckled on high heels. Hands were
around her, a rag on her mouth before she could even crumple to the cement.</span></p><p style="line-height: 14pt; margin: 0in; mso-line-height-rule: exactly; tab-stops: .25in;"><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt; mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">This
time the cry was muffled, and the struggle only lasted as long as her panic—a
panic that turned warm and soft, disappearing into a blissful slumber, and the
flickering of the streetlamp stopped for good.</span></p><br /><p></p></div>Charley Davelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00330943766540043166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-39900198359030834772020-07-01T08:12:00.002-07:002020-08-08T09:40:41.416-07:00H.P. Lovecraft Baby Quilt Giveaway!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">The winner of the HP Lovecraft quilt is Megan from Florida. Please come back this December for the next giveaway!</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">And if you have ideas for what author I should do next, let me know on <a href="http://www.twitter.com/charleydaveler" target="_blank">Twitter.</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-knBygnJObEQ/XvyfEaRmW1I/AAAAAAAABH4/EZ5W3FsX2xgV7MuQKgebDc8G4KBC80fiQCK4BGAsYHg/s3849/IMG_1868.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2886" data-original-width="3849" height="375" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-knBygnJObEQ/XvyfEaRmW1I/AAAAAAAABH4/EZ5W3FsX2xgV7MuQKgebDc8G4KBC80fiQCK4BGAsYHg/w500-h375/IMG_1868.jpg" width="500" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>JULY 1-31</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div>This June's giveaway is finally here. In July!</div><div><br /></div><div>Win this handmade, 100% cotton baby quilt by submitting below. It runs 34"x34" and is a perfect wall hanging or present to some eccentric parents.<br /><br />If you don't know me, I am an author who has been sewing as a hobby for over a decade. To help me cultivate like-minded followers, these giveaways are done twice a year. Please support me by following me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>THE MAN BEHIND THE QUILT</b></div><div><br /></div><div>Howard Phillips Lovecraft, a horror and weird fiction author, was enthusiastically chosen by my followers for this year's giveaway subject. Though virtually unknown during the time of his writing and dying in poverty at 46, his work has thrived, branching into the Cthulhu Mythos and creating a subgenre of Lovecraftian Horror. Living from 1890-1937, he came from an affluent family that soon lost its wealth after the death of his grandfather. Both his parents were separately committed to the same mental institution. He was a great letter writer, and the center of a group of authors known as The Lovecraft Circle. Today, he remains a huge inspiration for aspiring horror novelists.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>PLEASE NOTE: Free shipping for U.S. and Canadian entries. I do not recommend International submissions due to high cost of shipping, hidden customs fees, and previous problems with packages getting lost. </b>If you do not live in the U.S., but are absolutely in love with this quilt, please enter and I will contact you if you win and we can discuss how to move forward.</div><div><br />(Remember to "Like" me on Facebook while you're there!)<br /><br />You can submit to as many or as few categories as you like. If you have any confusion how to enter, please <a href="https://charleydaveler.com/contact.html" target="_blank">contact me</a>.</div><div><br /></div><a class="rcptr" data-raflid="1ece2ce71" data-template="" data-theme="classic" href="http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/1ece2ce71/" id="rcwidget_s6ggn3um" rel="nofollow">a Rafflecopter giveaway</a><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacing" style="background-color: white; font-family: arimo; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px; text-align: center;"><hr align="center" noshade="" size="2" style="box-sizing: content-box; color: #505050; height: 0px;" width="100%" /></div><div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-908995077812565133" itemprop="" style="background-color: transparent; font-family: arimo; font-size: 15.4px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: 1.4; position: relative; width: 550px;"><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="font-family: arimo; line-height: 21.56px;"><br /></div></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="background-color: transparent; font-family: arimo; font-size: 15.4px;"><span face="" style="font-family: arimo, serif;">If </span><span face="" style="font-family: arimo, serif;">you liked this post, want to support, contact, stalk, or argue with me, please consider...</span></div><div style="background-color: transparent; font-family: arimo; font-size: 15.4px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"><br /></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="background-color: transparent; font-family: arimo; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px;">Become a patron on <a href="http://www.patreon.com/charleydaveler" style="background: transparent; color: #6a6a6a; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Patreon</a></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="background-color: transparent; font-family: arimo; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px;"><span face="" style="font-family: arimo, serif;">Liking Charley Daveler on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/authorcharleydaveler" style="background: transparent; color: #6a6a6a; text-decoration-line: none;">Facebook</a><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="background-color: transparent; font-family: arimo; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px;"><span face="" style="font-family: arimo, serif;">Following @CharleyDaveler on <a href="https://twitter.com/CharleyDaveler" style="background: transparent; color: #6a6a6a; text-decoration-line: none;">Twitter</a><br />Following @CDaveler on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/cdaveler/" style="background: transparent; color: #6a6a6a; text-decoration-line: none;">Instagram</a><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="separator" style="background-color: transparent; clear: both; font-family: arimo; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpLast"><span face="" style="font-family: arimo, serif; line-height: 21.56px;">Following </span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/follow-blog.g?blogID=5814218766146533699" style="background: transparent; color: #6a6a6a; font-family: arimo, serif; line-height: 21.56px; text-decoration-line: none;">What's Worse than Was</a></div><br /><script src="https://widget-prime.rafflecopter.com/launch.js"></script></div>Charley Davelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00330943766540043166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-4639692042261673802020-02-17T10:09:00.000-08:002020-02-17T10:09:07.567-08:00Am I Making This Serious Mistake? Probably!<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst" style="line-height: normal; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">(But
Chill Out Anyway)</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I hate thinking. Probably because I
over think.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I tried to leave my day job about
three times before I finally lost it. That’s not including the numerous solutions
I tried to implement to make the job more bearable and more akin to what I
actually wanted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I’ve never been good at breaking
things off with someone. I don’t like deciding what I want to eat for dinner.
In part because I despise food and everything about it. Despite knowing what I
want, despite being good at going for it, thinking too hard has proven to be
the pain of my existence.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Make all the jokes you want, but I
literally get a headache from thinking too much. Tension headaches, to be precise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">March marks six months out from
Making the Horizon’s publication date. This means the book goes up for preorder,
the cover is revealed, the blurb must be finalized, and the due date for the
trailer is quickly barreling its way over me. I’m getting the manuscript back
from my editor today and will spend the next few weeks trying to get the plot
line, characters, and voices all in order.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Somehow, I need to have all my shit
together. Be organized? Know what’s next? Be sure my priorities are correct?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">I don’t like it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">So last week I was dealing with paperwork
and preplanning, and I misunderstood something major, made a pretty big mistake
that I was not able to immediately fix. I realized what I had done right away,
but I had to wait 24 hours to hear back from the important people. They were
less than helpful, citing proper protocol. So, in the middle of the night,
having woken from a stress induced nightmare, I typed an email I knew they
wouldn’t respond to until <i>at least </i>six hours later, and waited with in insane
hopes they might happen to reply anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Funny thing is, I knew what was
going to happen: they would fix it manually for me and all would be okay. If
they didn’t, I already had a valid backup plan.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Yet, it stressed me out until I
knew for sure that my mistake hadn’t caused some massive fees and issues.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Why?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Because I’m a nutcase, I guess.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">Risk taking it terrifying not
because we’re afraid of failure, but because we’re afraid of having to deal
with shit. Bureaucracy is already a pain in the neck on the best days, and when
it’s your own human error that forces you to take an extra two hours, it’s as
if the frustration has gone from a monkey on your back to a giant dragon
heaving steam down your neck and watching your stupid decisions over your shoulders.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">People make mistakes. We fix them.
Rarely is something so tremendously huge that it will destroy you. And those
things that do? They take time to grow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt;">So, as my professor in college used
to say, “Fuck it.” If thinking is giving you a headache, you’re probably doing it
too much.</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: arimo, serif; line-height: 21.56px;">Following </span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/follow-blog.g?blogID=5814218766146533699" style="background: transparent; color: #6a6a6a; font-family: arimo, serif; line-height: 21.56px; text-decoration-line: none;">What's Worse than Was</a></div>
Charley Davelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00330943766540043166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-91796148786509383382020-02-10T09:09:00.000-08:002020-02-10T09:09:01.393-08:00Author Interview: Francis H Powell<br />
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<a href="https://www.amazon.com/Adventures-Reincarnation-Annihilation-Francis-Powell-ebook/dp/B07YSXHXN1/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="755" data-original-width="498" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sii_ZZYSVPQ/Xj7egdx6HyI/AAAAAAAABCE/2WfTvbAkq9g93f3juyS23rHehOsXh7_mgCLcBGAsYHQ/s400/Death%2BCover.jpg" width="263" /></a></div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></strong></div>
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<i><span style="color: #555555; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 14.5pt;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">“Death is always a wild adventure that can’t be ignored.” Since the moment a child understands that life can vanish in unexplained ways, curiosity and fear create infinite questions, infinite fantasies. Francis H Powell’s short stories often explore these themes, accumulating into his new novel, </span><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><i>Adventures of Death, Reincarnation and Annihilation,</i> </span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">where quirky characters experience the past, the present, and the future in horrific, witty, and strange ways.</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Born in Reading, England, Powell studied painting with an MA in printmaking before moving to Austria to teach English as a foreign language. There, he pursued his artistic goals, beginning his writing career in 1995. Currently, he resides in Brittany, France, writing both prose and short stories.</b></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1oZlOJRbfr4/Xj7nbpxaPBI/AAAAAAAABC8/tTf24bS2Nw45bKFz8iyhzNLYJowloXpAQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/me%2B7%2B%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1oZlOJRbfr4/Xj7nbpxaPBI/AAAAAAAABC8/tTf24bS2Nw45bKFz8iyhzNLYJowloXpAQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/me%2B7%2B%25281%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">You describe </span><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Adventures of Death, Reincarnation and Annihilation</span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"> as “set in [a] different time in a variety of settings and time periods, the past, the present and the future.” It explores the concept of Death in an age where the doomsday clock is ticking closer. How much of current events and your own life inspired and influenced the story?</span></strong></div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></strong></div>
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<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I suppose, like many people, I am fascinated by Death. Also, there have been some dark times recently. I was living near Paris when there were terrorist attacks, my son was young and I think this affected me deeply. I was reading newspapers on the internet, which were obsessed with doom and gloom, terrorists, planets crashing into earth, the end of the world, and all this weighed strongly on my mind. </span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Is there something specific you want your readers to take away from this story in particular?</strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Not exactly, I would like them just to enjoy the stories mostly. There are elements in some stories, that we are systematically destroying this planet, that humans are destructive people. </span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">How did the characters surprise you while you were writing? </strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">The first and major story is based on a character called the Master, we don’t discover who he really is, whether he really exists, or is just a figment of somebody’s imagination. </span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">The book discusses the afterlife, unreliable characters, and creative worlds. How do you think spirituality and imagination are correlated, and how much do you believe in what you described?</strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
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I was a child; I was brought up a Catholic. This undeniably had an effect on my thinking. In this book, I researched Pagan ideas. A book is a great chance to increase an author’s knowledge and explore untapped ideas and the depths of one’s own imagination. A book can be like an exciting journey. </div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Throughout history, humans have sought immortality, and there are many themes of people pursuing it above all costs. Do you think this will lead to our eventual dehumanization? How have you depicted immortality and transcendence in your writing?</strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">With my first story, The Master, it is more about reincarnation, which is something I feel is a possibility; it makes our lives make sense if we go onto another life. Maybe there are a lot of old souls about. Everybody is afraid of Death, from an early age, I have seen that with my young son, however, Death is a part of life and if we were given some kind of incredible medicine, that would guarantee immortality, would we take it? </span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Life is exhausting and a burden, most of the time, but having a child means you wish to spend as much time with them in your life to see them grow and develop. </span></div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Does writing energize or exhaust you?</strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">More the former than the latter.</span><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"> </strong></div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">How much do you think about your readers during the writing and editing processes? How do you determine if something “works” or doesn’t? </strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Probably not as much as I should, I suppose if something works for me, hopefully, it will work for them. </span></div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">How do you balance making demands on the reader with taking care of the reader?</strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I suppose a book has to make sense, be understandable, to be well crafted and flow. </span></div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">How long on average does it take you to write a book?</strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">This is hard to answer, sometimes I come back to old stories and develop them.</span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">What’s your writing process look like?</strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Probably to an outsider, a bit messy. I can be walking my dog, and in the meantime, my head is full of ideas about what is going to happen next, I am always plotting and planning. Sometimes I write ideas on scraps of paper. </span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">What was your hardest scene to write? </strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I can’t really recall, but at times I am struggling to write something, but I find a way to overcome such problems</span></div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">What did you edit </span><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">out</span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"> of this book?” </span></strong></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">The publisher edited it, and it seemed to keep all the main ideas intact, which was pleasing to me</span><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">. </strong></div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">How did you determine the ages of the characters? </strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">You have to knit the story together, and this comes quite naturally. </span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">What kind of research do you do, and how long do you spend researching before beginning a book? </strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">It depends on the story, but with this book, I needed to. I had to read scientific articles, pagan religion, Scandinavian names, it can be weird stuff. </span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">How did publishing your first book change your process of writing? </strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I am not sure, but my second book moves into new areas, for example, science fiction and fantasy. There are connections between the two books, but also an evolution</span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Does your family support your career as a writer? </strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Not really. My wife shows interest. There have been some writers in my family: an uncle wrote historical books and a great-aunt, who I never met, was a well-known poet and was part of the Bloomsbury set. </span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">What does literary success look like to you? </strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I suppose people cherishing stories and having a hunger to read stories. Being productive and having books published. </span></div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">How many unpublished and half-finished books do you have? </strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">There is quite a lot on my hard drive that haven’t seen light of day, but as I said before, they could be polished and one day may be published</span><strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">. </strong></div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">What is the most unethical practice in the publishing industry? </strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">The only thing I can think of is companies that say they love your book, but then say you have to pay for it to be published. (flattery publishing???) </span></div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">What other authors are you friends with, and how do they help you become a better writer? </strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I had a friend when I was at Art College, Rupert Thompson, who has written some great books, have not seen him in a long time. :</span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Does a big ego help or hurt writers? </strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Most likely, it is better to be humble and always aspire to write better things, not to rest on one’s laurels. </span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">What are common obstacles for aspiring writers? Did you experience them? </strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Finding your style and finding an outlet for your work. Dealing with rejections. </span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">How important is self-awareness in writing? </strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I guess you have to know yourself and where you are going to be able to write assured stories. </span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">If you got to start over in life, what would you do as a child to improve your writing career? </strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I suppose this depends a lot on opportunities. I was sent to some terrible boarding schools, but in a way, this has helped me write about this world. Ideally, as a child, it would have been great to travel more, visit places in Africa and India, for example. I am sure travel fires the imagination and gives you a head filled with vivid memories and recollections, that can be used in later life. </span></div>
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<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></span></strong></div>
<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #0e101a; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<strong style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">If you could give advice to lovers of </span><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Adventures of Death, Reincarnation and Annihilation</span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">, what would you want to tell them? </span></strong></div>
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Hopefully, the world won’t end soon and will happily keep on spinning. Keep going in your lives. Look after your families and loved ones. Sleep well at night. Don’t let the newspapers drag you down - with their often nightmarish headlines. There is life beyond some of the present money-grabbing, power-hungry world leaders, I am sure. The world is going through a sticky patch, but surely there is light at the end of the tunnel. Let’s hope the future generations do better than the present generation and respect both people and the planet in a better way. </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Adventures-Reincarnation-Annihilation-Francis-Powell-ebook/dp/B07YSXHXN1/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_2" target="_blank">Buy</a> Adventures of Death, Reincarnation and Annihilation.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://francishpowellauthor.weebly.com/">francishpowellauthor.weebly.com</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">~</span></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-family: inherit;">Social Media (Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn):<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></o:p></span></b></div>
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Friend <a href="https://www.facebook.com/francis.powell.90" target="_blank">Francis Powell</a> on Facebook.</div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">Follow <a href="https://twitter.com/Dreamheadz" target="_blank">@Dreamheadz</a> on Twitter.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;"><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/francis-powell-5b09a517/" target="_blank">Connect </a>on Linkedin.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;"><b>Excerpt</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;"><b>~</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a; font-size: large;">THE MASTER’S HOUSE</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a; font-size: large;">Part one</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">The strange goings on in the life of Amos Toft.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">We had found her face down on the</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">sand, as the tide closed in. The moon shed silvery</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">light and there was a soft gentle offshore breeze</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">that glanced our faces. We’d run out of our</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">house, having seen torch light. They had left as</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">quickly as they had arrived. There were sounds</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">of horses, leaving at speed, shadowy figures,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">hooded, dressed like soldiers, soon fading into</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">the horizon. We presumed she was dead and</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">were relieved when she spluttered and coughed</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">and fought for breath.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">“Let’s get her inside” my wife said urgently. She</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">was totally naked and had no possessions.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">“Are you all right?” I demanded. She did not</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">respond. I repeated myself again, there was just</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">the sound of her heavy labored breathing.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">“She appears in terrible shock” my wife said, as</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">we helped her up. We draped one of her arms</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">over my wife’s shoulders while I propped the</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">other. We struggled along the sand and then </span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">headed towards our small house, which looked</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">over the large bay.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">“What’s your name?” I asked, expecting by now</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">she was in some kind of condition to speak.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">Again no response, her eyes were fixed on the</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">ground, she made no attempt to speak.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">We got her back to the house and sat her down on</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">a couch.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">What had happened? Why had</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">she been left naked on the sand, as the tide came</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">in? What was going through her mind? My wife</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">got a towel and offered it to her to clean her and</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">cover her naked body.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">“She will have to stay the night, it is late, at least</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">she will be safe here,” my wife said before</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">searching for some clothes. I hardly dared not</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">look at her. She was evidently young, very</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">beautiful, with long flaxen hair that cascaded</span></div>
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<span style="color: #0e101a;">down her back.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arimo, serif; line-height: 21.56px;">Following </span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/follow-blog.g?blogID=5814218766146533699" style="background: transparent; color: #6a6a6a; font-family: arimo, serif; line-height: 21.56px; text-decoration-line: none;">What's Worse than Was</a></div>
Charley Davelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00330943766540043166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-9417676161889710472020-01-06T08:13:00.000-08:002020-01-06T08:13:07.081-08:00249 Days Before Book Release and All the Crap I Have to DoPIC<br />
<br />
Not this. Is this a part of it? Keeping up with the blog and other deadlines, or am I just procrastinating on rewriting a character arc? I don't know. You tell me.<br />
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September 14, 2020. My first novel releases in less than one year, and
all the sudden the stuff I wanted to do becomes the stuff I <i>have</i> to do.
Which, to be fair, gives me a purpose. Yet, stupidly, I didn’t expect it, even though I did.</div>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
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Old friend: You still writing?<br />
Me: I have a book coming out in September.<br />
Friend: You’re not jumping for joy?<br />
Me: I am.<br />
Friend: You don’t look like it.<br />
Me: *thinks about it.* There’s so much shit to do!</div>
— Charley Daveler (@CharleyDaveler) <a href="https://twitter.com/CharleyDaveler/status/1197866233133031424?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 22, 2019</a></blockquote>
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-<a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/2402041110049574/" target="_blank">Launch Party</a>.<o:p></o:p></div>
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PIC<br />
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Imagine my surprise on learning that my major
demographic—speculative fiction and young adult lovers—was predominantly in…
Utah. Of all places. Good for me. It’s close and personal. Idaho isn’t far off,
and even Iowa (isn’t that the literary capital of universities?) can be found
in a short trip.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So great. Salt Lake City, September 2020, a 400
person ticketed event. Except
it’s pretty much like planning a wedding, one in which you may ending up hating
that love of your life you wanted to celebrate. So, exactly like a wedding, I
guess.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Venue. Check. <a href="https://www.google.com/maps/place/The+Gathering+Place+at+Gardner+Village/@40.6110112,-111.9227468,15z/data=!4m5!3m4!1s0x0:0x8d9e1b2cd03400fe!8m2!3d40.6110112!4d-111.9227468" target="_blank">The Gathering Place</a>. Advertising. Financed. Organized. Budgeted. And still not check. Decorations. Activities. I’m
not even a people person and crowds make me nervous.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I don’t have social anxiety as much now that I
went through my dead-inside stage and am pumped up on Prozac, but still…<o:p></o:p></div>
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-Cover release.<o:p></o:p></div>
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PIC<br />
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54 days until that. (I’ve gotten an app to countdown
my impending panic attacks.) Except, I’m not so concerned about having to post the cover and change my website. A lot of the coding is done. The design, done. The summary... ? Eh.<br />
<br />
March 1<sup>st</sup>
will probably be one of the most exciting days of the year. Book is scheduled
to go up for presale, cover is announced to the public, and everything starts snowballing.<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
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Six months
in and everything becomes about the book. I feel like I’m three months pregnant
and just waiting until my social life disappears entirely.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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-Editors, ARCS, beta-readers, oh my (God)<o:p></o:p></div>
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PIC<br />
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I now have several deadlines I really need to oblige,
some of them are contingent on other people. It’s scary enough trying to make
sure I stay on task, but others as well? I have to trust them? Count on them? Talk
to them? My life is hard.</div>
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Mostly though, my deadlines in the past have
been flexible, determined by me, solely by me and simply wishes. I could reorganize
them to my own needs, allowing for my sickness to debilitate me. In truth, that’s
what I’m most afraid of. What if I collapse? Fall behind?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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-Tour and budgeting.<o:p></o:p></div>
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PIC<br />
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After the launch party, I plan on taking a few
months off to go around the west. This requires a lot of planning, phone calls,
research, and figuring out how I can save enough before then, while still
having all the time required to do everything else. I hope to spend the entirety
of 2021 going to events, high schools, libraries, and conventions, which means that
I’m going to turn down some work here. And what about my merchandise and
artwork? Sales from my <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/CharleyDavelerArts" target="_blank">shop</a>? How am I going to deal with that with all this travel?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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-Figuring out exactly what I have to do.<o:p></o:p></div>
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PIC<br />
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The actual most stressful part is the planning.
Understanding what I need to do and when it needs to be done. I don’t like being
taken by surprise, and I believe strongly that a book is just like a small business—to
make it work, you need to hit the pavement. Be efficient in how you spend your
time, be reliable, and be a few steps ahead. But often times, each question
leads to a new one, and while I have plenty of time to figure some things out, as
my first book, I know there’s a lot I don’t know. I’m not even afraid of looking
like a fool, more so finding myself with regrets of what could have been done
differently.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I’ll try not to do that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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-Brace myself.</div>
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<br />
PIC<br />
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Even in the early stages, it can be an emotional roller coaster for me. Some people are excited, some people are competitive, some people are genuinely busy. In the last year or so, I struggled to feel disappointment or rejection, but also the highs of praise and acceptance. I am curious. What will happen if a marketing strategy fails? What about my first bad review? What if (even though I am highly skeptical as I can bank on at least <i>one</i> that Amazon won't take issue to) I get no reviews! I am hoping for some good times, expecting some stress, but not sure how I will handle the inevitable embarrassments or flops, the ones I know that are coming, some of which have previously put me in a state of apathy about my work. Now that this has started, I can't quit. People are counting on me!</div>
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I mean, someone is reading this and expecting results.</div>
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If you want to be kept updated on <i>Making the Horizon</i>, sign up for my <a href="http://charleydaveler.com/newsletter" target="_blank">newsletter</a>. I’ll be trickling out pieces of information
here and there until March, but the big announcement won't start for a few months now. Thank God.<br /><br /><br />
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Charley Davelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00330943766540043166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-50969980458860357762020-01-01T00:00:00.000-08:002020-01-01T00:00:13.543-08:00Think You Know How to Resolve? Resolve this!<br />
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New Year's Resolutions 2020</div>
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So, here’s the problem: I’m in a pretty good place.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Rough, you know? Alas, alack, what’s a stress-addict to do?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Last year, my mother gave us cards to write down these so-called
resolutions. I kept it, looked it over again this year, and then burned it in a
Solstice bonfire for good measure. I don't remember exactly what was on it. (Take care of my body, value my free time, etc.) The important thing is, for the most part, I did it! And like most people, my resolutions were always things that I'd wanted for a long time.<br /><br />
The only thing I really want now is to finally trim out my apartment.
I mean with literal trim. Because, Jebus, it’s cold in here. Yet actionable steps? I'm working on it. Actively. I've done it, I'm doing it.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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So... now what?<br />
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Let’s recap:</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Jan. 2019 – Working long hours at a job I’ve been trying to
quit for over a year. Not writing. Not drawing. Not dating. So checked out on Lexapro
that I’m pretty sure I stopped existing for a while.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
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Feb. 2019 – Same, but now add on the benefit of also doing Chicago
the musical rehearsals every night and being constantly reminded I can’t dance.<o:p></o:p></div>
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March 2019 – Got a personal request to resubmit a play I
wrote last year to this year’s festival. Won first place, was reminded that I
do, in fact, exist.<o:p></o:p></div>
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April 2019 – Took a chance on a great guy. Worked out.<o:p></o:p></div>
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May 2019 – Got fired. No, I did not hit my coworker. I just came really close. ‘Nough
said. Praise Jebus.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EvK8N7E46C8/XgprLZdRFJI/AAAAAAAAAgU/AgbO51DZgoAQ9knZPCcIgplEY6I3p4OdACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/1%2B1%2B2019%2BFired.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="651" data-original-width="600" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EvK8N7E46C8/XgprLZdRFJI/AAAAAAAAAgU/AgbO51DZgoAQ9knZPCcIgplEY6I3p4OdACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/1%2B1%2B2019%2BFired.jpg" /></a></div>
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June 2019 – Went hiking at least once a week. Actually saw parts
of my hometown that my introverted self has avoided for 30 years.<o:p></o:p></div>
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July 2019 – Celebrated my boyfriend’s birthday. Forth of
July. Old friends visited.<o:p></o:p></div>
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August 2019 – Mom’s birthday. Worked with kids in the arts.
Wrote a lot.<o:p></o:p></div>
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September 2019 – Wrote a lot more.<o:p></o:p></div>
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October 2019 – Drew a lot. Turned 30. Went to Hawaii.
Switched to Prozac. Feel like a human again.<o:p></o:p></div>
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November 2019 – <i>Making the Horizon</i> is slated to be
published September 2020.<o:p></o:p></div>
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December 2019 – I don’t remember by this point. Spent a lot
of time making cards.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Yes, there are things I would change about my situation, but
the procrastination aspect of resolutions is not a factor. What do I do with
myself if not announce I’m going to do that thing I’ve put off for five years?<o:p></o:p></div>
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On Solstice, my friend and I threw Tarot Cards. In an
uncharacteristically positive reading, my cards told me that I would achieve
great success, as long as I could forgive, be decisive, and speak up for my
viewpoints.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As I have been telling myself this year that words speak as loud
as actions (people can’t magically know what you’ve done), this didn’t come as
a shock to me, but considering how pessimistic my cards usually are, it was
nice to hear a confirmation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I have one true resolution this year: To be at peace.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I don’t know what that will look like, or how to get there, but
I do know that I carry around the weight of the world on my shoulders. I worry
about everyone, I am filled with resentment for taking out their stress on me from
years past, and I can’t but help always feeling like I should be doing
something.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So, whatever it takes, in the year 2020, I will find peace.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: arimo, serif; line-height: 21.56px;">Following </span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/follow-blog.g?blogID=5814218766146533699" style="background: transparent; color: #6a6a6a; font-family: arimo, serif; line-height: 21.56px; text-decoration-line: none;">What's Worse than Was</a></div>
Charley Davelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00330943766540043166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-72747510561184294422019-11-04T08:38:00.000-08:002019-11-04T09:24:17.831-08:00ADHD: The Quest for Easter Eggs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fV_HxLP6Jd4/XcBdye7aWMI/AAAAAAAAAZ0/lcjTO9rI9z0qUwYELQv4oJOERJQJ1gzHQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/11%2B3%2B2019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="814" data-original-width="498" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fV_HxLP6Jd4/XcBdye7aWMI/AAAAAAAAAZ0/lcjTO9rI9z0qUwYELQv4oJOERJQJ1gzHQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/11%2B3%2B2019.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #1c1e29;">Ever
been in a video game with two paths? Ever been pissed because you picked the
right one?</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">It should come as no surprise this has happened to me,
mainly because I’m pissed about every five minutes. ‘Tis the territory of
having Irish in me.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">A little less than six months ago, I was diagnosed with
not only Attention Deficit Disorder, but three forms of it, including ADHD.
When I received the results, my counselor set the paper down in her lap,
grim-faced, and asked, “How do you feel?”</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">I shrugged. “Makes a lot of sense.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">I didn’t know that so many of the things I was
experiencing were related to ADD. I didn’t even know that it wasn’t common for
everyone to think that way. After seeing my most misunderstood traits put
nicely on a list of questions, I began to realize why I struggled so much in
areas that others didn’t.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">The Boyfriend recently argued that ADD was the same as
phone addiction: the craving to distract your mind constantly was caused by how
easy it is to do it. His statement sparked concern in me. Despite that I used
to claim ADD wasn’t a real thing too, after I realized that not everyone’s
train of thought runs on the same rails, I wanted to be understood. I’m not
losing focus because I </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">want</span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"> to be thinking about something else; I’m
losing focus because my mind needs something to chew over pretty much every second.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">I have phone addiction too. It’s not the same. In some
ways, it’s the opposite of ADD.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Attention Deficit Disorder is like a video game where you
have all these side quests: some people go through and only play the main,
while others get throu</span><span style="color: #1c1e29;">gh everything else before finding their way back to the predominant storyline.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lYhECEZfJGY/XcBekyJEx_I/AAAAAAAAAZ8/S2stRiXK2sIxX5g-vYFkdLfZiUzNx4BMACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/11%2B3%2B2019%2BQuest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="637" data-original-width="498" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lYhECEZfJGY/XcBekyJEx_I/AAAAAAAAAZ8/S2stRiXK2sIxX5g-vYFkdLfZiUzNx4BMACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/11%2B3%2B2019%2BQuest.jpg" /></a></div>
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<o:p></o:p><br />
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">The cellphone addiction has to do with intentional
distraction, rather than unconscious changing subjects.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">The craving to be on an app has nothing to do with an
inability to pay attention; it’s the </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">desire </span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">to not pay attention. It’s the desire to distract
yourself from unpleasant thoughts, to </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">force </span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">yourself
out of the present.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">ADD is more like walking down a path and needing to turn
on every offshoot.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mcnoOFzg0xo/XcBek_acEAI/AAAAAAAAAaE/ImWMPCdr0ssEguS61b9TwW-xHw-mS7pCwCEwYBhgL/s1600/11%2B3%2B2019%2BLess%2BTraveled.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="637" data-original-width="498" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mcnoOFzg0xo/XcBek_acEAI/AAAAAAAAAaE/ImWMPCdr0ssEguS61b9TwW-xHw-mS7pCwCEwYBhgL/s1600/11%2B3%2B2019%2BLess%2BTraveled.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">I’m not good at following orders, or step by step instructions.
Truth is, I can pay attention. I can get </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">completely</span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"> absorbed
into a project. I can get absorbed into six different projects. But, and here’s
the gist, only if I have a bit of a challenge. If I don’t see an action as
being both interesting</span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"> and </span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">valuable, even if I know it is crucial (or that I
should just act like I care), my mind drifts off.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Which is nice, in a way, because when I am mentally
present, I’m bombarded with stimulation. Sounds, smells, lights, movement,
colors, and even my own thoughts are chattering at me from every direction.
White noise is my greatest enemy. I can’t listen to a song without hearing the
lyrics. My eyes hurt in several different kinds of lighting. I’m constantly
queasy. Being watched cripples my competence levels, my attention diverted to the viewer.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">It’s strange to learn how much of my neuroses are a part
of this “disorder.” I thought they were just facets of my personality or only a
side of being human. While I feel relief knowing that not everyone is
experiencing the level of pain I do (and therefore, not handling it better), I
also feel incredibly misunderstood when I need to take care of myself. And
questioned in areas that I actually excel at remembering.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Truth is, I don’t get distracted as much as I detour. I
find my way back to where I need to be. Just eventually.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Most people don’t trust that I’m going to do that, or
can’t follow my thinking long enough to see me circle back.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">The “H” in ADHD stands for “Hyperactive.” This means that I
need constant stimulation; otherwise, I have pent up mental </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">and </span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">physical
energy that I can’t expend. I can’t sit still for long periods and become
acutely aware of </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">any</span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"> sort of pain that I’m in when I try. I get
incredibly bored often, especially if I’m not active in both hands and
intellect. This boredom exasperates a need to escape, to run around, releasing
this pent-up electricity inside me.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">As an adult, I’m more capable of understanding these
urges. The diagnosis of ADD actually gave me peace instead of offense; I now
realized why I struggled to “behave” in classroom settings. It also told me
what to do about it. Being an adult, of course, allows me to get up and walk
around typically without someone lecturing me. As an older, paying student, I
have permission to state my needs, less likely to be considered being
anti-authority because I need to take a break. Everyone else is sitting here
for an hour without needing to stretch or walk? Well, congratulations to them,
but this is necessary for </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">me.</span></em><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">There are, of course, times where it still gets me into
trouble. Multitasking often helps me focus on something that I can’t tune out,
but isn’t mentally challenging (like doing lights during a theatrical
performance, which is glamorized button pushing). If it’s too simple, my mind
goes to an alternative place. I completely check out. However, try
sitting next to a director and write while you’re supposed to be working his
brilliant show. I guarantee I make more mistakes trying to focus rather than
keeping an ear out for key phrases to check back in. In fact, ADD allows me to
do this, as I always have a little bit of attention diverted everywhere.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">The other thing is, people don’t believe me. They argue
that, because of how they are or what they’ve read, “you don’t know yourself
that well.” You’re making things up to do what you want. Or they prioritize one
goal over others: Yes, multitasking </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">can </span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">make me worse at quality control compared to when I
am completely focused. But if I’m not initially focused, if I don’t care that
much, ultimately doing something else can help me stay present.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">I think this is the mistake that people make when dealing
with kids like me; it’s all about being interested. It’s all about seeing a
purpose. If your child is continually getting sidetracked, getting out of his
seat, and distracting others, punishing them isn’t going to do much. They’re
not doing it to receive attention or regain control, or any of the other
reasons a student might typically misbehave. It’s to alleviate the massive
storm pushing in your chest. It is incredibly hard and painful to try and stay
on the straight and narrow path going in a direction you don’t care about
arriving at. I’ve found that challenging the easily distracted students—telling
them what they’re capable of, giving them better tools, and showing them harder
goals—makes them more likely to engage.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Both my counselor and the practitioner who prescribes my
medication were a little surprised by the results. I don’t act hyperactive. I
feel it. I control myself. I have learned coping mechanisms to help me focus. I
also am very good at deduction. I zone out a lot, but I can pick up on cues of
what I’ve missed. To deal with my mind’s tendency to wander off, I have learned
skills that actually make people believe I’m more intelligent, not less.
Directly because of ADD, I take in everything. This is upsetting, overwhelming,
but it also means I notice more about my surroundings than most of my
companions, make connections quickly, and remember seemingly inane details.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">ADD is often a more significant problem for those around
us than ourselves. Many of the traits that consider me a prime candidate are
things I’m proud of. It just requires a great deal of self-control to make
others comfortable. That can be frustrating. The misunderstandings are common.
We are expected to stay on the main path when there’s so much more to see off
it and are treated as rude when we go in a new direction. People often take the
way I think as a personal reflection on them.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">The hardest part of having ADD is a lack of empathy
people have for me. Because it </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">is </span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">in some ways standard human traits, just heightened,
more chronic. We all zone out, dream big, and get overstimulated, it’s merely
that people like me have to take more breathers. That’s all.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arimo" , serif; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px;">Following </span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/follow-blog.g?blogID=5814218766146533699" style="color: #6a6a6a; font-family: arimo, serif; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px; text-decoration-line: none;">What's Worse than Was</a></div>
Charley Davelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00330943766540043166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-13299419919875245922019-10-28T14:10:00.002-07:002019-10-29T08:56:49.441-07:00Worse Case Scenario, You Might Learn Something<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XFswjTMfsBY/XbdNQFLMAhI/AAAAAAAAAXk/LQNo-canEiMU8DCbINbmZcyWQuNNsrxbACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/10%2B28%2B2019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XFswjTMfsBY/XbdNQFLMAhI/AAAAAAAAAXk/LQNo-canEiMU8DCbINbmZcyWQuNNsrxbACLcBGAsYHQ/s400/10%2B28%2B2019.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i>SPEAKING
OF</i> wasting your life doing things
because you’re too young, (No, you weren’t. <a href="https://worsethanwas.blogspot.com/2019/10/thirty-was-supposed-to-make-me-real-boy.html" target="_blank">I was</a>. Stay with me now.) I
recently hired a young assistant/apprentice to help me do all the
time-consuming, super important, and useful tasks every artist should learn but
doesn’t want to do.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nIwaQYYYvYY/XbdY80SipOI/AAAAAAAAAYU/bQABcArQSscYESuK67emB9uAf5laZYteACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_8814.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nIwaQYYYvYY/XbdY80SipOI/AAAAAAAAAYU/bQABcArQSscYESuK67emB9uAf5laZYteACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/IMG_8814.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bobbi Miller</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true">A significant factor showed her struggling with the
expected issues of being a 14-year-old. I strongly believed in her more than
she did herself, and I strongly believed that I didn’t want to organize all my
awful paper. Who has time for that? Not 14-year-olds, sure, but throw them a
few bucks, and they’ll slop something together. And that’s more than I’d do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sjS23vWB8oQ/XbdNJpLnqcI/AAAAAAAAAXQ/HQEbislBK_82F7wvp6ZPLTkSfewhufnxgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_8807.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sjS23vWB8oQ/XbdNJpLnqcI/AAAAAAAAAXQ/HQEbislBK_82F7wvp6ZPLTkSfewhufnxgCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/IMG_8807.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Diane Lyon</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
We
trekked deep into the Grand Teton National Forest in attempts to develop a new
style of <a href="https://us16.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=e904caba6c9d38f3da8508e27&id=374398e955" target="_blank">newsletter</a> images. Chatting about her interests, we
brainstormed alternative entertainment over the stupid crap kids do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true">“My problem is,” she told me as we shivered in the snow-blown
ridge during the first week of October (What is this Fall nonsense you speak
of?), “is that I keep changing my mind what I want to do.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true">“Skills are transferable,” I told her. “And life is long.
So even if you decide for the next ten years to be a photographer and realize
it’s not for you, it’s not like you’ll regret knowing how to use a camera and
photoshop. Especially in this day and age. It’s possible you’ll spend all that
time trying new things, completely missing your calling, and waking up at 24
lost instead of on Forbes’ list, but I’d recommend talking to the adults in
your life and see how often that happens by waiting for certainty.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true">It’s strangely a huge phobia for some. Wasting time!
Changing your mind! Starting too old! How will I ever be able to catch up?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true">In my experience, most things I’ve achieved didn’t come from
a direct path. Some talents I was “naturally good” at really came from other
(so-called abandoned) endeavors that I previously pursued.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Vofk6R9D2nA/XbdNJduXVFI/AAAAAAAAAXI/3Al8tC3dpVYKw6E0_MnwZfbO4F89VHbQwCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_8809.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Vofk6R9D2nA/XbdNJduXVFI/AAAAAAAAAXI/3Al8tC3dpVYKw6E0_MnwZfbO4F89VHbQwCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/IMG_8809.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kathryn Sobieski</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ra-BPhQgj1Y/XbdNJf6AGJI/AAAAAAAAAXM/KM8TiCGMrXY4yfVPHeqDYFydahG6VGIbQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_8810.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ra-BPhQgj1Y/XbdNJf6AGJI/AAAAAAAAAXM/KM8TiCGMrXY4yfVPHeqDYFydahG6VGIbQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/IMG_8810.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shannon Troxler</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
When I
walked into the life drawing class in practically a bathing suit, I was told I
needed to come up with a new pose every minute, unlike the previous portrait
class I where I held one position for three hours. I had no idea, and terror socked
me in the ribcage. I had to think of so many other poses? I wasn’t going to be
placed like a doll and told to hold still? Half-naked, standing in front of
twenty people, and I had to think of a way to place myself?! I don’t know what
my body is doing half the time. Where’s my apprentice telling me what to do?
What do I pay her for?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true">Yet, I have a B.A. in theatre. I have already been
scouring the internet for real-life examples of poses I myself wanted to draw. I
already knew a list of positions I had been searching for, and due to the
powers of 20 years of being humiliated in front of classmates, I could <i>do </i>them.
I made less money my entire “acting career” than two sessions of art modeling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true">People were amazed, no more than myself. They laughed at
my pouting and cringing, exclaiming praise at their seats. Which surprised me.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CuybBRdkTIE/XbdYcpcfpFI/AAAAAAAAAYM/8kHwsVM1aIoW_JmC3mrdVOdNkjtMq8ZFQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_8808.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CuybBRdkTIE/XbdYcpcfpFI/AAAAAAAAAYM/8kHwsVM1aIoW_JmC3mrdVOdNkjtMq8ZFQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/IMG_8808.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elliot Goss</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span data-preserver-spaces="true">I had no intention of being a life model before last
week. Now that I plan to spend the next year marketing and traveling for the
launch of my debut fantasy novel, <em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">Making
the Horizon </span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">(Releasing
September 2020, stay tuned for more official info), I decided I need to get
some actual money in my business account. I do this like any real artist does
and began taking up a few odd jobs here and there. Literally, the day I
decided, I received four opportunities—an extra 200-300 dollars this month—Which
is a lot of extra funds for someone who makes her living selling B.S. and
imagination.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
The paintings
here are from the artists in my portrait class—many older, retired individuals
who finally had money and time to do that sort of thing. Usually by doing real
jobs their entire lives. One woman approached me afterward, learning I
also <em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">taught </span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">art, and immediately she brought up age, listing out
several artists who started at a late age. Maybe to reassure herself? I, too,
pulled out some authors who didn’t begin writing until after sixty, and she was
impressed I had already thought about this.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-H0A1hOxEYe4/XbdNKbpxj3I/AAAAAAAAAXY/GU7DuCSleQo9aKFxtYMbRl1jbSau06D6QCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_8812.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-H0A1hOxEYe4/XbdNKbpxj3I/AAAAAAAAAXY/GU7DuCSleQo9aKFxtYMbRl1jbSau06D6QCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/IMG_8812.jpg" style="color: #0000ee; text-align: center;" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shannon Troxler</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true">I said, “A lot of people tell me that they want to write
a book and they’re too old. I ask them, you planning on dying in the next two
years?”</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Why do
we waste so much time being afraid of wasting our time?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I
couldn’t have walked in there and posed for those people if I invested everything
in being a writer, on being a teacher, on making money, on creating only what I
wanted, only what was in my wheelhouse. Being open to new experiences that
might not go anywhere is easier the more you do it, predominantly <i>because</i>
skills are transferable.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true">If your biggest
fear is changing your mind, you’re doing pretty good.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><br /></span></div>
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Charley Davelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00330943766540043166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-25425743033845099802019-10-21T13:10:00.000-07:002019-10-21T13:10:15.051-07:00I’m My Own Kind of Messed Up, Thank You<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OO4Y5JlyweI/Xa0sUvQvo6I/AAAAAAAAAUQ/hPAIhghCSLUiCiheONRm-WPdOTiOKppcgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/10%2B21%2B2019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="927" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OO4Y5JlyweI/Xa0sUvQvo6I/AAAAAAAAAUQ/hPAIhghCSLUiCiheONRm-WPdOTiOKppcgCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/10%2B21%2B2019.jpg" width="370" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">“What about this surprises you?” my counselor asked as
I flailed my hands like Billy Mays with a waffle iron.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">“It’s not a surprise she lambasted me with insults. It was that she could’ve been talking to anyone! We’ve been
friends for two years, and she doesn’t know how to hurt me?”</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Analytically speaking, I’m scared of the deadness: the apathy from the
last four years of my life. I blame everything wrong on the void—the lack of
optimism, the lack of yearning, lack of impulsivity. Emotions hurt, but their
absence, feeling the biting cold of where passion should be, killed my body far
worse than what anger or rejection could do. It was scary how <i>little </i>her words
bothered me.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">But these generic insults of “You’re shitty”
had more to do with her fears than mine. She said things that glanced off me
like marshmallows, and fresh ones at that; a frustrated mourner taking out her pain on a stoic stranger. Maybe it’s that I misinterpret her
reasons behind blitzing me with broad judgments, but at the time, it not only
seemed she couldn’t step in my shoes, she didn’t even know me well enough
to hit me where it hurts. And we were close. If </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">she</span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"> didn’t
understand how I saw myself…</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FWRE5Kh5RWQ/Xa3mCvnGSbI/AAAAAAAAAUs/XvSbtj4KWzkndxEsp1PvwDJZ5lHmrzkiQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Award.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="861" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FWRE5Kh5RWQ/Xa3mCvnGSbI/AAAAAAAAAUs/XvSbtj4KWzkndxEsp1PvwDJZ5lHmrzkiQCLcBGAsYHQ/s400/Award.JPG" width="268" /></a></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Last April, I woke up to the announcement my script, </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Waste-Charley-Daveler/dp/1733134506" target="_blank">To Waste</a></span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">, won first place in Riot Act’s New Play Festival. A reporter came to
interview me. He pulled out a recorder, enthusiastically asked deep,
intelligent questions, and morphed the strange gut punch from when I heard about
my win, twisting it back into the tickling, butterfly-filled queasiness I had
come to know and love. (Look, I don’t like change.)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Then the paper arrived. And misquoted me. Slapped my
verboseness around until the reporter came up with a simpler viewpoint. A naive
viewpoint. The greenist viewpoint a greenhorn could ever gleam.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">It’s not the first time a newspaper messed up. Typically
understandable. An interview earlier this year was with a peer and me over the
phone. Quotes got misattributed. I didn’t see the world like my companion, and
I certainly didn’t want the world to </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">see
me </span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">like my companion. But it
was what it was. C’est la vie.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">I called up my friend in shock of my distress, and she quickly jumped to her story: Emancipated, she managed to
move halfway across the country at 18, receive a scholarship, and grow from a
troubled teen to a disgruntled artist. After graduation, her story gained the
attention of a national newspaper, and thus one day, my friend’s mother picked
up an article explaining in gory detail the horrible monster she was. Yet, my
friend claims she never said any of that. She never even believed it. The
interviewer already had a narrative of what happened, and she wasn’t listening
to the view of the person experiencing it.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j-EJJ0KnYkI/Xa3weQC7_cI/AAAAAAAAAVE/LmmKrFQDEPoS1hUdGCLpS3UpbBoAsAL7ACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/10%2B21%2B2019%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1332" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j-EJJ0KnYkI/Xa3weQC7_cI/AAAAAAAAAVE/LmmKrFQDEPoS1hUdGCLpS3UpbBoAsAL7ACLcBGAsYHQ/s400/10%2B21%2B2019%2B1.jpg" width="332" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">What surprised me was my reaction. The misquote in the
newspaper wasn’t even the first-time people assumed I was unprofessional or
inexperienced. Possibly, earlier events were what caused my pain.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">When my depression eased, a colleague pulled me aside
to inform me he didn’t like who I was becoming. I felt more like myself than I
had in a long time. My apathy, lack of interest in attention, lack of humor,
lack of drive, lack of opinions, made me pretty malleable. Now that I started
to care about things, well… Now I was morphing into a square peg. How dare I?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">But I was always a square peg, really. I was just so
tired I couldn’t hold my shape. I didn’t see the point in having a shape. I
could fit into any hole because I simply didn’t care about where I went. Put me
where you want me. Now that I’m a person again, I’m changing for the worse?
Fantastic.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">On top of that, the play writing group I founded was
imploding. Two members were at each other’s throats. Against my insistence that
no one was getting kicked out, they still didn’t want to end the conflict. Problems
spiraled, making every one of us look a gaggle of schoolgirls trying to
green-light our own Desperate Drama Queens of Atlanta.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">All of a sudden, the reputation I built was gone. Not only was my group’s name losing
respectability, I (and our other member) became “one of them.” The man I just
started dating made a comment about how the problem was we were all difficult
to work with, even though the only time he’d witnessed how I act was one
critique reading I headed. It went extremely well. He had no reason to think
that outside of the rare drama then around me.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Too easily, people shifted their view of me on par with
the two members who notoriously burned bridges. Individuals I’d created with
successfully for years, people who </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">requested </span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">me often, people who couldn’t work with anyone else </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">but me</span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">,
even people who had several negative experiences with these women still talked to me like
I was another emotional amateur letting my ego ruin everything. Everything I
had done to be trustworthy, the effort I’d put in for someone specifically,
projects they personally witnessed going well, didn’t matter at all, it seemed.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A8UM0g9-He0/Xa38NHxPznI/AAAAAAAAAV4/NuHeB7n9o5M6aoBfb1U5qzpnH7v5LmvsgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/10%2B21%2B2019%2BMy%2BName%2Bis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="579" data-original-width="498" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A8UM0g9-He0/Xa38NHxPznI/AAAAAAAAAV4/NuHeB7n9o5M6aoBfb1U5qzpnH7v5LmvsgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/10%2B21%2B2019%2BMy%2BName%2Bis.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">When you walk into a room, people start developing a
story about you. Their perception is not always defined by what you say or do.
This is terrifying, even for a white girl. I just turned thirty, but to some, I
look sixteen. They don’t know why I speak like I’m not. They smile at me
placatingly as they tell me the ways of the world and wait for my youthful
wonder. I’m not only plastered with doubt because I look like I’ve never seen a
flip phone—even those who </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">know</span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"> my age still presume my 60-year-old
counterpart has more experience than me, even when… they just don’t.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">There’s aspects like my posture, my high-pitched voice,
my empathetic-oriented style of speech, that detract from my respectability.
We all know that inexperienced egomaniac who people have faith in simply
because he announces he deserves it. Because he struts like John Travolta,
because he speaks with certainty, because he is older, therefore wiser, right?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Since</span></span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;"> I find my natural intensity scares people into not
telling me their opinion, I </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">trained</span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"> myself for years to encourage everyone’s
ideas. To be sweet. Yes, I’m an opinionated asshole, but the existence of my
thought does not detract from my interest in hearing yours. At the same time,
just because I listen to you doesn’t mean I think you’re a genius. Yet, when in my
diplomatic state, I’m seen as submissive, passive, naïve, insecure, ready to learn,
and apparently, have nothing of value to say.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">This begs the question: how much should you change to </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">look </span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">like
you are who you feel like?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">I </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">feel</span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"> like someone who loves other people’s ideas
helping them. Yet, if I speak naturally, so fast and loud with energy and
frustration and excitement and big words, I make so many people feel stupid.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">I feel like my actions—producing other people’s projects
for no reward other than the vicarious excitement, for one—and my experience
level—two decades of writing, drawing, acting, a life’s commitment to the
arts—means nothing because there are people who see me as they want to, based off my looks,
or technical resume, or their own insecurities, or even others who I remind
them of.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">This reporter—a smart and friendly, good-natured person
who paid more attention than I think I’ve ever seen any reporter give a
show—saw me as he did, saw me as he wanted, and didn’t question it. When I told
him anything that contradicted his view of me, he didn’t hear it. Despite my
excessive workload, despite any quality of my work, despite what I said, he saw
me, a young-looking woman from a small town, and something, </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">something </span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">told him I hadn’t written much.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">When he asked, “Did you write the show specifically for
the Riot Act Festival?” I praised the contest:</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">One of the beautiful things about the New Play
Festival—something other people have told me as well—is it gives you a
deadline; it’s short, it’s achievable. For many I work with, it is
excellent motivation to get something done when you’re struggling. I was
dealing with depression, and I wasn’t writing as much as I wanted to. Annually,
I try to create something new specifically for the festival, which can help me
get back into the swing of things, and this year it forced me through my block.</span></span></em><span style="color: #1c1e29;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">To be fair (and you possibly noticed this), I’m a
long-winded Mother-Mocker. I said a lot. In his attempts to summarize the
thunderstorm of words, he crafted a quote he considered the gist of what I
wanted—one that completely misrepresented what I was trying to say, to the
point of extreme embarrassment. Impressive, actually, in my zombie-like state.
It showcased his view of me, and that view was not a driven, experienced
playwright:</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">“I felt encouraged to submit something because writing a
short piece seemed reachable,” Daveler said. “Completing it was a personal
victory, and being able to share a piece of theater created from my experiences
might not have happened without the contest.” </span></span></em><span style="color: #1c1e29;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Who am I?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">I am not a short writer. Most
of my scattered manuscripts range between 100,000-200,000 words, which is a
shit-ton. Too much. My common goal for the first three drafts is to cut my
word counts down by </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">half</span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"> because I have a hell of a time being concise.
In fact, we probably wouldn’t be discussing this if I didn’t. Writing a short
piece is not so simple. Not for me.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">As for the whole, not being able to share a piece of theatre…
I produced a hell of a lot of plays while I was living in Los Angeles. </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">My </span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">plays even.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">I am, regardless of my anonymity, a prolific writer.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">I am grandiose. I am a risk-taker. I am driven! The test
that diagnosed me with three kinds of ADD even said so.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Does this quote come across as me at all?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">I didn’t want to be seen as an aspiring writer who
finally made a piece because it was “attainable.” I wanted to be seen as the
depressive, manic genius filled with neuroses and hordes of mysterious scripts
no one was allowed to see. (For very good reason.)</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">And so, despite my tendency to turn the other cheek,
despite my knowledge, no one reads corrections. I sent him a (very diplomatic)
email. The idea of telling this guy that I
despised the piece after he took so much care bites like a rapid monkey, but
there was an online version, and I really needed that statement out of the ether-world and buried dead, dead, dead in the ground.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">It occurred to me. It was not the embarrassment of how
people would see me on reading that quote in that bothered me so
profoundly, but rather that the reporter saw me that way from the jump, that he
ignored my actual words and told a conventional narrative based purely on
assumption. He assumed I didn’t know what I was doing and didn’t hear any signs
that possibly I did. I know I had told him about my other writings. Something about
me made him think of me like that. Nothing I could do would have fixed it.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br />
<span style="color: #1c1e29;"></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_DF3HmKHI48/Xa3w9x3YLoI/AAAAAAAAAVM/QafugpmNx0AZMX7l2UZQS-gI2HjvDrVAACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/10%2B21%2B2019%2BBojack.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="415" data-original-width="625" height="265" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_DF3HmKHI48/Xa3w9x3YLoI/AAAAAAAAAVM/QafugpmNx0AZMX7l2UZQS-gI2HjvDrVAACLcBGAsYHQ/s400/10%2B21%2B2019%2BBojack.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;"><br /></span></span>
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;"><br /></span></span>
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BoJack_Horseman" target="_blank">BoJack Horseman</a> once asked, “Well, do you? Think
I’m a good person? Deep down?”</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">“I don’t think I believe in ‘deep down.’ I kinda think
all you are is just the things that you do.”</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">It stuck with me. I wish.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Sure, there are times are your intentions are good,
and the results didn’t happen the way you expected; stupid things happen to
tired people. But what happens when you’re continually making others miserable,
regardless of why?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">More to the point, what happens you do something respectable and no one sees it? When they define you not by what you’ve done, not by
results, not even by intentions, but by something that tends to happen to
people “like” you? People </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">seen </span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">as being like you, even when they’re not?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">How much do you fake it until you make it, or do you ignore
how it looks and hope that someone will understand what’s really happening? How much time do you spend worrying about giving off the wrong perception?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">While my depression has lifted, and I have moments
of authentic joy, real excitement, sometimes I feel desensitized. I don’t
necessarily feel like I exist, it’s hard for me to be flattered. What I do
changes nothing. They saw me positively because they decided to. I had no say.
What do I care?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HfGwpaCU-to/Xa4MDb2YAsI/AAAAAAAAAWo/1xLhxgikT1MRrVVxKiYwO5plCJmgHAJugCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/10%2B21%2B2019%2BInvisible.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1167" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HfGwpaCU-to/Xa4MDb2YAsI/AAAAAAAAAWo/1xLhxgikT1MRrVVxKiYwO5plCJmgHAJugCLcBGAsYHQ/s400/10%2B21%2B2019%2BInvisible.jpg" width="291" /></a></div>
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">When I heard I won first place in the festival, I was in
pain. Something was very wrong. At first, the win felt hallow, and I waited for
the other shoe to drop. I knew that some would scrutinize my play—a script I
considered some of my best work—simply to prove that I didn’t deserve to win.
That I wasn’t better than them. It didn’t matter if I had written gibberish or
genius; it was about expectation. There would be those who thought it was good
simply </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">because</span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true"> it was a winning piece. My skill, my efforts,
and the parts of me I put in the writing simply weren<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman", serif; font-size: 16px;">’</span><span style="color: #1c1e29;">t relevant</span></span></span>.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">How can you be seen for you, rather than memories
of others? Stereotypes? Projection? Proximity? How can you be defined for all
your good actions unless you run around narrating them like a lunatic? You
better hope to God you’re what you think you are, in that case.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">How can you fight being defined by a narrative that
stemmed from something outside of you?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true">I am a flawed person,
but please criticize me for what I am. Don’t come up with a
list of insults that could apply to the majority of the world. Don’t assume
that you’ll hurt me with typical insecurities. React to me. React to </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">me</span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">.
Let me know I exist, and even if you don’t like me, please, at least don’t like
me because of what I’ve actually done.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #1c1e29; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span data-preserver-spaces="true"><br /></span></span>
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Charley Davelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00330943766540043166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-16940438442570834032019-10-14T12:11:00.000-07:002019-10-14T21:27:31.869-07:00Thirty was Supposed to Make Me a Real Boy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8z8o-nvwQPI/XZjtLw4iSuI/AAAAAAAAANU/r5RpAqK92qsq5E9G6irtzz_RmflyAC-0ACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/10%2B14%2B2019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="927" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8z8o-nvwQPI/XZjtLw4iSuI/AAAAAAAAANU/r5RpAqK92qsq5E9G6irtzz_RmflyAC-0ACLcBGAsYHQ/s640/10%2B14%2B2019.jpg" width="370" /></a></div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29;">Mathematically,
(and isn’t that what’s truly important?) 30 doesn’t seem like a particularly
engaging number. It’s somewhat obnoxious even, considering it doesn’t go into
100 very nicely, or even 75, which is supposed to be the average life span of a
human (the last time I checked. No, I won’t cite it. Go away.) It’s impossible
to make it into a clean and quick percentage - unless I decide to live to be
precisely ninety. But then again, why not? Ninety is a good age. Hopefully, I
won’t be brain dead, and I can still pick up a pen; I’ll be doing great.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j_L9lc_VuuA/XaUufjwR-eI/AAAAAAAAAS0/ZbOSxuA1bdcenzOsixa9944CQxhhnSpcgCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_8739.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="971" data-original-width="604" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-j_L9lc_VuuA/XaUufjwR-eI/AAAAAAAAAS0/ZbOSxuA1bdcenzOsixa9944CQxhhnSpcgCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/IMG_8739.JPG" width="398" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">So why is 30 significant? Some people define it as the
end of youth, but wouldn’t that be what menopause is for? Or wrinkles? I don’t
know. I still can have the babies and have my common sense questioned, so I
feel pretty young.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fKW28RvuukM/XaUufpctcjI/AAAAAAAAASw/J1fXEnHLeB4cnXnxesNqBXTWWSgL14fRACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_8738.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="518" data-original-width="368" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fKW28RvuukM/XaUufpctcjI/AAAAAAAAASw/J1fXEnHLeB4cnXnxesNqBXTWWSgL14fRACLcBGAsYHQ/s400/IMG_8738.JPG" width="283" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">I was told when I started writing at twelve that I
couldn’t write anything real until I was 30. Why? What happens at the stroke of
midnight on the eve of your 29th birthday?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Midlife crises, for many, I suppose. I always felt, in my
egotism of youth, naysaying by the older generation was a means of self-defense
against regret. Those older people who insisted I have nothing to say until that
magical birthday when my life experiences would suddenly matter didn’t seem to
have spent their youth well.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Apparently, my egotism as a mature adult agrees with my
younger self; I still see it that way. A bunch of self-loathing dingbats, the
lot of them. They, always, after fifteen years of sticking in my craw, have not
found it easy to get anyone to listen to all these important things they have
to say.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-z4ydy1F8X2E/XaUugaHl-SI/AAAAAAAAAS8/Bm8g8f_8RSw1wikxt986-CBGFCnAyNGlQCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/IMG_8740.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="604" height="640" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-z4ydy1F8X2E/XaUugaHl-SI/AAAAAAAAAS8/Bm8g8f_8RSw1wikxt986-CBGFCnAyNGlQCLcBGAsYHQ/s640/IMG_8740.JPG" width="302" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Because it’s just not. Easy. For anyone. Thinking people
will believe you’re smart simply because you’re old ignores how moronic you consider some of your peers. People don’t automatically expect you to
be insightful regardless if you’re 10, 30, or 60, because how many people do we
know who aren’t?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">So, what </span><em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">is </span></em><span data-preserver-spaces="true">being 30 like? What did happen at magical midnight
when I was supposed to be endowed with the knowledge of life, the universe, and
everything?</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Well, as I waited for Douglas Adams to call me from the
afterlife, I did not experience a euphoric epiphany, chasing my spirit animal
into the wilderness. But I did have to admit something, something I never
expected myself to feel: My 20s brought me to exactly where I wanted to be.</span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; text-align: center;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1c1e29; text-align: center;">Yes, I mean literally. Not entirely literally, but yes, where. I was in Hawaii. I woke
at dawn on October 9, 2019, stepped out onto the balcony of my hotel, and
stared at the sunrise over Honolulu. That was the right spot. The right place for me to be.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Six months ago, I decided to spend this significant
birthday somewhere unique, somewhere memorable, somewhere I could breathe in
the new life of “mature adulthood” (or “positive adulthood”), and start my
thirties afresh. I booked a trip to Hawaii, invited all my close friends over
the years, and, more to the point, continued the long hard journey of digging
through the baggage, depression, and making my life one that I want to live until the time came for me to get on a plane and escape reality for a few days. I
was in Hawaii with a beautiful man, feeling happy about who I was and what I was doing because I had decided to make my Big 3-O great, </span></span><span style="text-align: center;"><i>long </i>before it hit me.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<span style="color: #1c1e29;">On the first day of my 30th year, I was hiking up an abandon railroad with an attentive, funny, sexy guy, in Oahu, my phone buzzing with personalized texts from friends wishing me a good day. I sketched a picture I was proud of. I could peacefully take time off of my work because I wasn't behind. Creatively, I was making headway, I set myself up for the trip, set myself up to make my deadlines for October. I was ready for this. Not creatively? I'm not doing any work that isn't oriented around my true goals. Not right now. I could do all of this, not because I planned on changing when I turned 30, but because I was building up until then.</span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">The twenties were painful. To put it politely. If I look
back on 18-27 without picking it apart, it feels like a blacked-out fog of pure
stress and anger. A college that taught me how to deal with assholes instead of
any craft. A relationship with a self-destructive Australian, forcing me to
question my own sanity. A job that burned me out for two years and left me
with medical problems that I still haven’t recovered from.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">Yet, at the same time, I would be wrong to say these
periods were useless. That were all bad. That I didn’t get anything from these
years, and that I didn’t do anything for the decade initiation to adulthood.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">In my mind, I spent my adult life succumbing to the
darkness. Yet, I have proof that’s not true: physical evidence of the art I’ve
made, memories of the people I’ve loved, skills I didn’t have five, ten, twenty
years ago. I did not spend my twenties dead. I did not waste them.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">And I will not miss them.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span data-preserver-spaces="true"><span style="color: #1c1e29;">I was learning. I was kind. I kept moving. I wrote. I
traveled. I worked. I healed. And 2019, my 20th year, became the time where I
truly understood what I wanted, got me moving where I am today, right at this
moment, right on my 30th birthday.</span></span></div>
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Charley Davelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00330943766540043166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-2047896357993902242019-08-26T16:41:00.000-07:002019-08-26T16:41:08.383-07:00Branding: At Least I'm Not a CowboyFor one thing, it's hard to come up with an abstract logo - people still ask me what the owl griffin is - and for another, there's all these rules that seem kind of like a pain in the butt. Recently I read a book about a woman who thought she had a lazy M, but it wasn't because it was on its side in the wrong direction, and someone else had the "real" thing. To think that people had to do all this research before the internet too. I guess we writers have it easier. I mean, I could always take my granddad's if I wanted to get into the cattle life, but I have my doubts any of them would listen to me. And even that wouldn't be easy because you got to figure out all of the inheritance laws and fight with some cousin who decided she wanted it more.<br />
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That being said, good amount of artists cringe when using the word brand. I don't blame them. There is this weird sort of commercial, fake connotation to it. Authors don't like being limited on the best of days, and even the request of "Come up with a genre so we don't overwhelm our shoppers with options" can lead to a New Orleans amount of sweat.<br />
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We could call branding by many names. Style, voice, name recognition, theme, tone. It's all one in the same, really. Branding is about having a (seemingly) genuine consistency that tells you who that company/author really is. It's about being familiar to your readers in a way that makes you trustworthy. It's about being recognized when you produce something completely new. It's about utilizing the reward of a good reputation.<br />
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Which you absolutely don't have to do. But, in some ways, if you really are expressing yourself, you're going to have some sort of recognition in those who liked it. For most of us, branding is already there, we just have to emphasize it.<br />
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I've been thinking a lot about my brand in the past. Talked about it quite a bit too. I struggled with certain aspects, like who my target demographic is, or the fact that my skills as a painter aren't high enough to repeat styles.<br />
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Funny enough, a part of my problem was what I would call the "Bronie Effect," and the secret lovers of so many genres who you're not exactly allowed to write for.<br />
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<i>My Little Pony</i>, for those of you who have never met a little girl, is an ongoing brand of toys and T.V. shows that created a highly successful cartoon in relatively recent years. The strange thing about the show was not why it was popular, but <i>who </i>it was popular with. Yes, little girls, but also adult males. Some of their interest grew to obsessive degrees, changing from simple fan art to actually petitioning to marry a stuffed doll. Or so the Reddit rumors grow.<br />
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What's noticeable about this, however, is that once you decide to market for a certain demographic, it tells you it is <i>only </i>for that demographic. Commercially, this can be problematic because networks have canceled shows like <i>Firefly </i>and <i>Invader Zim</i> partially due to the viewers being outside of their target. Women rated <i>Firefly</i> much higher than they expected, men lower, while <i>Zim </i>was a cartoon on Nickelodeon that interested adults.<br />
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What I'm more concerned about is the fact that stating your book is young adult almost banks on the idea that it's major audience will be teens, probably girls, even though in my research I've found that the audiences of stories that are similar to mine are actually 60% male ranging from 20-35. As we all know, the shame that falls around someone doing something intended for children, and men enjoying something meant for women is pretty intense.<br />
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As I write what I'm looking for, I'm, at least partially, writing for 30 year old women who just want a little more bite out of young adult novels, and NOT the misanthropic, isolated pessimism of the majority of adult fantasy. Yet, I've heard adult women be embarrassed to be seen in that section.<br />
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So what made me change my mind?<br />
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Well, I went to the Jackson Hole Writers Conference with pages from my new working manuscript, <i>Making the Horizon</i>, and as I spoke to an agent, he felt the story would be pretty marketable to teens. He also agreed with me that teenagers do not need dumbed down language or struggle with complex stories, a criticism that made me hesitant in the past.<br />
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As he said it, I reflected on the students I'd been working with and the fact that I tend to like young people better, that they understand me (and my word choice) far more often than anyone else. Then, when I taught mapmaking camp, the kids and I, in our freetime, played around with liquid watercolor and made a map of Sandbysk to help me develop the cultures better. As I told them about each place, they grew more and more intent on my words, and three begged me to give them the book. They became quickly invested in the characters, each having someone they routed for and wanting to know all about them.<br />
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It was time to accept who I was, and that is someone who likes the younger generation.<br />
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Does that mean that I am going to turn into Cassandra Clare or Sarah J. Maas? No. Of course not. That's what it means to be you.<br />
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Sure, the decision to promote my books as young adult means some changes - two of the twelve characters have become teenagers, and the swearing was watered down - but I connect with them because I didn't write down to them. I didn't have simplistic language or spell it out for them. They responded to what I had already done.<br />
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Which lets me have my cake and eat it too.<br />
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I will still showcase the more serious side of things along with the beauty, I will still fight to challenge my readers <i>just enough,</i> and I will still talk about human issues that aren't limited to coming of age. Yet, I will acknowledge the fact that I like the youth of the fantasy community.<br />
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You will see some changes around my sites. The branding goes far beyond the demographic. I am looking to gain consistency and a style that people will recognize even out of context. Some of the drawings will not be as beautiful as the ones there now, but I am hoping, with time, I can come up with something that really tells people who I am and what I care about without too many words.<br />
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Charley Davelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00330943766540043166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-40670945833057073902019-08-19T15:38:00.000-07:002019-08-19T15:38:09.433-07:00Where Expressing Yourself and Flipping Your Lid Diverge"Just be yourself," they told me.<br />
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My concerns were growing by the minute. I couldn't get one laugh during a three hour social interaction. I didn't try. Nothing even occurred to me. My impulses were buried deep in the ground, farther than the shallow grave my grandfather was plopped in. It wasn't that I felt fear or restricted; I felt nothing. No inspiration, no compulsions, no personality. I wasn't me. Depression made me not me.</div>
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"Okay," I said, hands on my knees. I looked around. "Nothing's happening."</div>
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Because the truth is that many of us <i>don't </i>wear masks, rather hormones, experiences, and circumstance shape who we are. Those things constantly change, even moment to moment. I claim over and over that if you get me in a room filled with people, I'm going to be paying attention to them. Their needs. How am I coming across? Whose feelings am I hurting? Are they okay? Is there something I can do? What would be interesting to them? What's the guy in the corner going to do? Oh, please God don't come over here. What is he doing with his hand? Oh, a handshake. Right. That's a thing normal people do.</div>
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You can rightfully chalk it up to social anxiety, but that's somewhat my point. Your personality changes because of fear - or any mood you're experiencing at that time. Even if you have a pretty healthy relationship with the external world, the stimuli you witness is going to change your reaction. It doesn't matter if that reaction is an excited share of energy or fear induced chills. You get into a room by yourself and you may, like me, change your thoughts from the people around you to, "How do I paint things to be shinier? Do I need a gloss? Or do I just need to paint better." Or you might say, "Remember that time in fifth grade I made Julie Burgess cry?"</div>
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People's thoughts change based on their location, even if there's not a considerable difference in population. Pay any attention and it just seems obvious it would. Colors, ambiance, food, lack of food, entertainment, noise, etc. we all seek out new environments <i>because </i>of how they change our inner life.</div>
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To say that we hide who we are assumes that we know who we are, we are always able to act in a consistent manner regardless of fatigue or mood, and, finally, that we know how to express ourselves.</div>
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I'm not much for emoting. It drives people nuts, to be sure, and drives me nuts in multiple ways. Not only do I find living my own life in my introverted, socially anxious way can come off as rejection to those who I don't know, but communication becomes extremely difficult. As an adult, I've learned to feign facial expressions and tones because my default reads as angry. Yes, great skills to grow, but it requires me to think through most of my reactions. How can they be the real me?</div>
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"Nothing's happening," is not just a reference to how my instinctive thoughts lost their sense of humor in my darkest hour, but that if I were to behave how I wanted to, I wouldn't be communicating anything at all. Words are hard. Body language is hard. Tone is hard. If I were being me, I wouldn't have forced myself to go out in public. Best case scenario, I'd be home with my imaginary friends, talking to myself in the guise of writing. More likely, I'd be succumbing to the void that is mental illness and not forcing myself to get out of bed at all. Instead of my impulses telling me to say or do a thing, they're telling me DON'T DO ANYTHING EVER.</div>
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Over the past year, I've been doing a lot to overcome this chronic weight of apathy, and I'm thrilled to say that it seems to be succeeding. Not necessarily at first - never does, does it? - yet now I'm in the best shape I've been since I was 23 (Almost seven years ago.) One thing I must do, especially when I am in the throes of it, is to try and control my emotions. I'm afraid, I admit, of the disfunctional side of me who comes out every so often. I believe that if I am not on the top of my game at all times, everything goes to hell. A prime example is how easily the results of self-advertising disappear. Gone for a few months, geez, a few unreliable posting, and you lose many of your constants. As someone with a chronic illness, it is terrifying how easy it is to lose momentum and reputation because you are too exhausted to even watch T.V.</div>
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Yet, what happens? A friend pulls me aside to give me some "kindly advice" on how he doesn't like me anymore. All because I'm feeling more vocal. All because I'm looking to actually connect with and entertain people rather than just existing alongside them. Obviously, what he didn't like was how I wasn't as submissive to his ideas (as I didn't care about anything), which was disturbing to me.</div>
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I got into more drama over these last few months than I ever had before. In each case, I expressed my concerns and solutions as much as I could until something sent me over the edge. And the two times I've blown up in 2019, no one could understand why such a nice, level-headed girl could get so angry... there must be something going on with me.</div>
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Which there is, but there always is. And it begs the question, why am I always the one who has to control my emotions?</div>
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The answer is (and here's the rub), I don't. Truth is, the ones who don't control their emotions, the ones who have blown up at those around them over and over again until someone lashes back <i>do </i>face the ramifications. They lose jobs left and right, their names being shot down for opportunities they didn't even know they'd been suggested for. They alienate their friends, they have a bad reputation, get fired or chased out, and they create their own ceiling in both social and professional circles. It's actually hard to remember that the low expectations others have for these provokers is actually undesirable. Thinking something must be going on with me in order to break me... Pretty fair to me, actually, even if I don't feel like they're on my side.</div>
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My reactions are understandable, damn it!</div>
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I struggle with this self-expression on many levels. Not trusting others to find my tastes interesting, not trusting myself to be interesting on my own accord, not knowing what other people prioritize, not knowing how something comes off? Plus, the added bonus we all have to face is that negativity sells. That obnoxious blowhards are interesting. That mean-spirited jokes are ballsy. That a strong opinion is going to contradict someone else's, and that fights are an excellent form of entertainment. Ask any inciting incident.</div>
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But, I've gotten better. What I've learned from this experience, I think can tie into everyone else's inability to feel heard: You can't always flip your lid and expect people to respond well, but you can't keep your mouth shut because they won't. Yes, you're going to have to control your emotions. Even the hot-tempered rant that sells needs a cool-minded edit. But you write because you want to bond with others, and you will never do that if you don't indulge who you truly are. It may not come naturally, so take advantage when it does.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "arimo" , serif;">Following @CharleyDaveler on <a href="https://twitter.com/CharleyDaveler" style="color: #6a6a6a; text-decoration-line: none;">Twitter</a><br />Following @CDaveler on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/cdaveler/" style="color: #6a6a6a; text-decoration-line: none;">Instagram</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arimo" , serif; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px;">Following </span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/follow-blog.g?blogID=5814218766146533699" style="color: #6a6a6a; font-family: arimo, serif; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px; text-decoration-line: none;">What's Worse than Was</a></div>
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Charley Davelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00330943766540043166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-35768605888018659232019-08-05T07:49:00.000-07:002019-08-05T07:52:42.064-07:00What Eight-Year-Olds Have Taught Me about Not Working<div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #1c1e29; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">
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<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">"Go away, I'm writing!" we shout as we fall deeper into the rabbit hole that is someone's political post.</span></div>
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<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">For the readers who have been paying attention to me for the last few years now - hell, computer users who can take a glance at the dates of my posting - have recognized the impact of chronic illness (both mental and physical.) Those in my life, even those who have experienced similar things, (even myself for that matter) can't always understand what sickness does to a person.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I suppose the hardest part of the last few years was not feeling funny. As in, I didn't amuse myself Jokes didn't come to mind, even the ones that I was deadly serious about causing people to laugh at me. I felt drained of who I was, chronically tired, burned out, uninspired, a disbeliever of love, and a generally empty person. I often described to my compatriots that I knew I was missing something; I just had no idea what.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">For many people, 2019 seems to be a year of Great Change. Many of my friends are getting into good relationships or taking the next step of marriage. Many are finding jobs in the field they've always wanted. Many (way too many) are moving. Going to grad school, just doing something big for themselves.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Personally, I got fired. It was the best thing to happen to me. I swear to God I was never going to punch him. And I suspect my manager wanted me to defend myself when she gave me the call and say so. But the reason I blew up at that lazy asshole was BECAUSE my blood pressure hiked over a job supposed to be temporary, and I was glad when it was over.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I couldn't quit and leave my coworkers in the lurch. I liked the money coming in. I liked being useful. And the job was never boring. But since January 2018 and that fateful 22-hour shift, I kept questioning why I was spending energy on a business that wasn't personal to me? So much of my life went to serving overpriced microwave dinners to private jets - and I don't even like food. I tried to quit, to cut down on my hours, to switch my position there, but ultimately, the place wasn't set up for me to have a life outside of it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">As of today, I've committed to the goal that caused me to move back from New York in 2017. As much as I tried to keep up with everything - including this blog - I just wasn't capable in that headspace. But now I have time to write, to create merchandise, to advertise, and to think about my career actively. I got into a supportive relationship to help me brainstorm and advise on the business side of things, and I'm teaching way more art.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">That being said, my eight-year-old students are the worst little mirrors you could find. All of a sudden, I'm more engrossed and committed to the buggers, and I've begun to learn a great deal about being an artist.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">See, kids are simpler and more upfront when it comes to their moods. They have a harder time describing what's going on with them, but that's sort of the point. Being much worse at understanding themselves and how they're perceived, they're also much worse at obscuring things. Older people are more likely to shut down when you start to poke at their walls. When you call a kid out on their "artistic license" as being "just lazy," children tend to find your honesty funny. They notice they're not in trouble and tend to be surprised that you understood them so well. Adults, well, they are more in tune with what happens if they get caught in bullshitting you, so they're less likely to admit that the slew of typos aren't actually their "voice," but them not wanting to clean it up.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Most importantly, I've found myself being more and more hypocritical these days. I'm very attentive to the old wounds and aim to give kids good experiences when I sense anxiety. While ordering them to introduce themselves, make eye contact, shake hands, and show off their work, I'm hiding from my boss when she's looking for someone to talk to the other teachers about our end performance. I tease one girl about not finishing her work or trying new mediums because she's afraid of ruining it. In fact, the vast majority of kids I must demand they color their drawings for that very same reason. Yet, at the same time, I only recently bought faux silver leaf, a medium I've been wanting to use for several years now, because I was afraid of screwing it up.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">And it was </span><em style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">because </em><span style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">of my conversations with these kids that I started to understand why I'm not working. The <i>true </i>reason, outside of the burnout and exhaustion: My fear of doing something poorly made me do nothing at all. I've been wanting to make magnets and stickers, cards and bookmarks, baby quilts and publish books, yet I didn't want to spend money and mess it up. I didn't want to draw something that wasn't going to work or get my product to realize how terrible it looked.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Look, to make an omelet, you're going to have to burn your mother's pans. Just clean it up, chalk it up to life, and move on. And maybe don't tell anyone about it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'll say it before, and I'll probably say it again: 2019 will be the year I return to my hopeful youth. I've already started making progress, and I am returning to be a reliable poster. As much as I would love to have a teacher sit me down, tell me to suck it up, and then show me how to do the project I've been interested in for years, I don't have the money to pay for that. I'm going to have to do it myself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So! What you can expect from me, loyal readers, is the following:</span></div>
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<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My <a href="https://us16.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=e904caba6c9d38f3da8508e27&id=374398e955" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #4a6ee0; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;" target="_blank">newsletter</a> will come out on the first of the month. It includes an extra comic about writing as well as information about giveaways and new shop items.</span></li>
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<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://www.charleydaveler.com/comic.html" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #4a6ee0; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;" target="_blank">Mighty Morphin' Canine Powers</a> will resume updating every Friday.</span></li>
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<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I make no promises that <a href="http://www.charleydaveler.com/storiesofthewyrd.html" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #4a6ee0; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;" target="_blank"><em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #1c1e29; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">Stories of the Wyrd</em></a> will post every month, but that's the aim of the game.</span></li>
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<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My brand spanking new <a href="https://www.patreon.com/charleydaveler" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #4a6ee0; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;" target="_blank">Patreon page</a> will be posting new projects and concept art, among anything else I can think of.</span></li>
<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My <a href="http://www.facebook.com/authorcharleydaveler" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #4a6ee0; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;" target="_blank">Facebook</a> announces new information, including when I've put up any online material, such as the comics or original stories.</span></li>
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<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/CharleyDavelerArts" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; color: #4a6ee0; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;" target="_blank">Etsy</a> shop is slowly growing to include more merchandise. Keep checking it out as I'm adding new stuff almost every week!</span></li>
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<li style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Instagram is also a great way to see new concept art, projects, and new projects reveals!</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I've done it before, and I can do it again.</span></div>
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<span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">I'm fairly excited guys, I have to admit. The style is coming in, I've been developing a marketing strategy, and working on books left to write. Follow along with me, and if you have anything holding you back, I can teach you like an eight-year-old and slap you around verbally a bit. Just contact me through any of my social media or email.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arimo" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">If </span><span style="font-family: "arimo" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">you liked this post, want to support, contact, stalk, or argue with me, please consider...</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 15.4px;">Become a Patron on </span><a href="https://www.patreon.com/charleydaveler" style="font-size: 15.4px;" target="_blank">Patreon</a><br />
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Charley Davelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00330943766540043166noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-34463163876506155842019-06-01T09:12:00.001-07:002019-07-22T08:59:18.573-07:00Ernest Hemingway Quilt Giveaway!<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; font-family: arimo;">
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">UPDATE: The winner of this June's giveaway is Ben from Seattle! Thanks, Ben! Come back again this December!</span></b><br />
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RUNNING JUNE 1-30, 2019</div>
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Quilt giveaways are back!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Now finished with the lapse in my sanity of 2018, I am continuing the quilt giveaways this year, but with a little change<b>. All comments posted on my <a href="http://www.facebook.com/authorcharleydaveler" target="_blank">author page</a> in the month of June will be entered to win.</b> July 1st, I will select my favorite to receive this handmade, 100% cotton baby quilt featuring Ernest Hemingway. You may comment as many times as you wish!</div>
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Please help support me by taking a moment to view my page, like a few things, and give yourself a chance to be gifted a quilt valued at $200.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "arimo" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">If </span><span style="font-family: "arimo" , serif; font-size: 15.4px;">you liked this post, want to support, contact, stalk, or argue with me, please consider...</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-57447382884683974732019-05-20T18:00:00.000-07:002019-05-20T18:00:38.775-07:00Why are Australians Lime Green? (Selling to the Niche)<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rQjH7kySV-4/XOMJTkkJShI/AAAAAAAACV4/pds1Y5xxRAE3d4duzkamVK_PITM55DjSgCLcBGAs/s1600/5%2B20%2B2019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1237" data-original-width="1600" height="307" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rQjH7kySV-4/XOMJTkkJShI/AAAAAAAACV4/pds1Y5xxRAE3d4duzkamVK_PITM55DjSgCLcBGAs/s400/5%2B20%2B2019.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Erasing the Color</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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I lived in Australia for six months, returning
my dysfunctional boyfriend back to the arms of his home country. In a sloppy,
emotional manner, of course. Australia, I found, was very American-adjacent, sharing reasonable
facsimiles of food and clothing and television. It was surreal, the
differences just subtle enough to not fully accept the country as reality.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Many Australians asked me the main change from the United States in attempts to pry small talk out of me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“How is America?” they wanted to know.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“Gray.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
I’ve talked about it before, but it sticks with
me. The strangest thing I realized about my home country is how <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dull</i> our colors are. Look around when
you drive through town and see the white and black and gray cars.
Sure, there’ll be a couple of reds and blues here or there, but they too tend
to be on the duller, darker side. Dark colored clothing, grayish blue buildings,
why is it that many of our possessions lack passion, personality, and just
vibrancy?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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And the answer is obvious.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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It’s the same reason why it’s so hard to find
shorter chained necklaces. The same reason tall, short, fat, and thin people struggle to get
clothes that fit from a mall; if you want to sell well, you want to create something that will work for most people. In a way, you don't really want to stand out. Simple and well made encompasses a lot of successful business modules. Because, despite being known for our vanity, Americans these days tend to think
of beauty as impractical, unnecessary, and lacking intelligence. We build
perfunctory, cookie cutter houses in mass so they can be cheaper, creative
heavy homeowners’ rules to protect ourselves from eyesores. We love Lululemon and Walmart where you have generic designs with a few variations. We move into white
apartments with unsheeted, white mattresses on the floor, keep all our photos
in the hard drive, and just generally focus on the grindstone of life instead
of taking a moment to stop and make some roses.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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How does this affect the writer?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We all can bitch about the common denominator
movies which don’t push your mind or emotions too far, with the same story formula and actors who are
probably all related, but the truth is, selling something with personality is
difficult.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
It’s not impossible, of course. If you note what
does extremely well, whether that be bestsellers like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fifty Shades of Grey</i> or cult classics like Edgar Allan Poe, they tend
to be specific. There’s some weirdness in there, a risk that hasn't worked before, that makes it iconic, specific,
and touch people right in the right place at the right time. They take a—if only
a little—chance that doesn't fall in line with expectation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
This year, I finally escaped from my job as a
caterer. With the decrease in stress, having more time and focus, and just
being generally healthier, I started to really become determined in answer to a
question that had plagued me since the graduation from college: Do I try to be
a writer on the side, or risk poverty and aim to do it full time?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Of course, for a while, I had the sensible
answer of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you need</i> a day job. Yet, based
on my experiences and current situation, I thought, “This is prime time to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not </i>have a job!” I put so much energy
into work that I didn’t feel to be important, if
I could find a way to be that productive in a area I had personal investment…<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
Plus, more personal control over the success means having more mental stimulation.
Not trapped by the priorities of people above me, I felt I could utilize my
tendency to solve problems to make better decisions. Like ways to make my life easier, for one thing. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
So I began to research. Those people who get
their word out there? What do they do differently?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Unfortunately, I learned some things that I didn't want to admit.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
Self-publishers have often posted polls about
naming their stories, series, or other things, and I’ve found that the one I
liked best was… ignored. And the one that I hated? Adored! You look at those
who become successful through great online campaigns, Instagram posts, blogs,
and other strictly internet tacks and you’ll notice what society has been pushing
all along: They’re pretty generic, comparable with each other, minimalist and focused one change.<o:p></o:p></div>
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To look professional, the best way seems to be to do the most minimal.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
There are exceptions. Youtubers are typically noticed
for their content and not the super-high quality. People connect with some things
that, regardless of the context in which it appeared to them, they just fall in
love. Love, is in fact, blind.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
I guess the real trouble is that when you don’t
have that “something,” you need to just not alienate everyone, and to do that by having . Which seems
obvious, now that I’ve spent this time thinking about it, and frustrating because
what the hell is that something? It’s definitely being genuine. It’s definitely
having personality and doing something different. But if your personality and
tastes don’t compensate for skills, don’t fall in line with expectation and lack
the love, then people push you off with a little bit of disgust.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
Or that’s how it feels.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
As I try to come up with my style, a familiar
vibe each time someone sees my work, I struggle with the business I like and
the minimalism that appeals to many others. I struggle with the differences I see
rather than the similarities others recognize. I (and this is the important
part), imagine that each time someone looks at something I’ve created this
whole storyline of how much I’m doing wrong, at the reason they don’t care. But
while I do feel I have a long way to go in hooking in my audience, it’s
important to pay attention to the facts.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
Yes, my dark and busy style contradicts the successful
blogs of Jeff Goins and The Bloggess, yes, I’m busier than most, and yes, I don’t
want professionalism to mean simplicity, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not on
the right path.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
I can sell my hot pink and lime green cars to a
world of beige, and even though there’s a reason most don’t, it doesn’t mean it
won’t ever be exactly what someone else is looking for.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpLast">
My focus is to do something I like, something I respect.
And yes, gathering the skills to do that requires me to identify what others
are doing “right,” but it doesn’t mean that I won’t be able to sell myself by toning
me down.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-29441343459919711922019-05-17T08:00:00.000-07:002019-05-17T08:00:01.260-07:00Professionalism and the Chamber of Poor Definition<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uEWd8yOUWHg/XN3ZLf0mCuI/AAAAAAAACVs/CcBSByw3ChY9fYIQVb2Uyc_cyE3jqLulwCLcBGAs/s1600/5%2B17%2B2019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1237" height="400" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uEWd8yOUWHg/XN3ZLf0mCuI/AAAAAAAACVs/CcBSByw3ChY9fYIQVb2Uyc_cyE3jqLulwCLcBGAs/s400/5%2B17%2B2019.jpg" width="308" /></a></div>
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Give me a lazy kid over a perfectionist any day
of the week.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
It’s not to say I don’t love me my little neurotics,
because they definitely have personality, their projects are pretty awesome,
and having arguments with them is certainly stimulating. But that’s just it; a
lazy kid knows they’re wrong when a perfection is sure they’re right.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
To win a fight with someone trying to do the
minimal, mostly you just have to laugh and call them out on their bullshit. Children,
at least, will be amused, their arguments growing more and more ridiculous as
you insist, “You didn’t want that part of the painting white; you got bored and
quit.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
But trying telling the perfectionist that their
work is pretty damn good and please, please for the love of God, do not erase
another one. That’s an argument you can’t win. Possibly because they want the praise,
but typically because they truly believe that it’s Just. Not. Good. Enough.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
When one of my most high-strung students drew a
nearly perfect cartoon circle, she complained she didn’t like it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
“What do you not like about it?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“I don’t know. It’s just bad.”<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
A typical answer. Completely useless too.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
“Be more specific.”<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></div>
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“I just want it to be more professional.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
“Well, it’s a sketch. Professionalism has more
to do with the medium; once you paint it and ink it…”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
“I mean, I want it to be more realistic.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ah</i>.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
I’d had a similar argument earlier this year.
When two creative partners had a (we’ll put it politely) <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">difference of opinion</i>, they both criticized the other for not being
professional, to which I realized, I didn’t believe any of us actually agreed
on the definition <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">of </i>professional. One
thought professionalism was inflexibility—having it planned out and sticking to
it. Another thought professionalism was creative merit. Personally, I thought
professionalism was credibility and reputation, which we seemed to be hemorrhaging
from intergroup fighting.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
These days it just seems to be an umbrella term
for “good.” More often than not, it’s just an easy insult. There’s an, “I’ll
know it when I see it,” sort of vibe.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
For clarity, the real definition of “professional”
is simply if you’ve been paid for the job. Many professional authors aren’t
that professional looking, even half-assed self-published works making more
than the painstaking story still hidden deep in your computer.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
But what is it? What is it really?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
The important thing is to be specific when
trying to communicate, and remember that this word means different things to
different people. Mostly though, the underlying definition is the difference
between “someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing,” and “someone who does.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
So, this is the question for today: <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What makes an author look like they know
what they’re doing?</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpLast">
Once you find the answer to that, you’ll be
better at finding satisfaction with your work.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-1822319987006862462019-04-29T17:12:00.000-07:002019-04-29T17:12:44.053-07:00How to Separate Work and Home<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpFirst" style="text-align: center;">
(When No
One<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt;">’</span>s Paying You Jack)</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TBmrq2KZW8I/XMeS36d-AmI/AAAAAAAACVY/Iifs6NXq060JdJsUqoTizQNCMxR-Loj2wCLcBGAs/s1600/4%2B29%2B2019.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1237" data-original-width="1600" height="308" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TBmrq2KZW8I/XMeS36d-AmI/AAAAAAAACVY/Iifs6NXq060JdJsUqoTizQNCMxR-Loj2wCLcBGAs/s400/4%2B29%2B2019.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
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<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
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“Oh good. You’re not doing anything…”<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s hard to get it. Do they believe that
writing isn’t actual work? I’m not surprised it doesn’t occur to them that we
have to make sacrifices to create time for writing. Including turning down
actual paying jobs. (Or, rather, jobs with guaranteed fruition.)<o:p></o:p></div>
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We skip parties, T.V., cut out video games,
develop discipline without a boss or coach, turn down time/mentally consuming careers,
and, most importantly, we sacrifice friendships by saying, I can’t do that, I
have to work.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Why is writing not considered a real job? Many
suggest because it’s not hard or it’s supposed to be fun, so it’s not
respected. But I’d actually say it’s a matter of flexibility. The deadlines are
self-imposed, you’re not on the clock, and you can easily move things around to
fit more in. People respect having a hardass boss and bureaucratic set of
policies, but not when those are self-imposed. My unpopular opinion
(contradicting what I’d like to say) is there’s some truth to it; the benefit
of working at home is that you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">can </i>change
what you’re doing to help someone else, and in some cases, you should. I’d go
so far to say that the benefit of working from home is being able to be there
for your friends. (I’m writing this from someone’s couch waiting for her
internet guy while she’s participating in “real” work.) The problem isn’t that
it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">must </i>be treated like an
on-the-clock, 9-5 job, but that discipline and elasticity are like oil and
water, and it takes a lot of extra work to get those bastards to mix.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Do you want to be a fulltime writer? Contrary
to popular opinion, it’s not the finances that stand in your way the most. It’s
having the personality to be the bad guy. But then the good guy—and knowing
when to be which.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 20.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Split your identity. Maybe
with hats.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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If you become a self-published author, or sell
your own merchandise, or basically get your money directly from your customers,
this becomes even more important. You need to think of yourself as both boss
and employee so you have a better concept of a healthy work environment. <o:p></o:p></div>
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An example of this is when freelance authors don’t
pay themselves for their work. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s easy to say, “Oh! I could do that
cheaper!” forgetting the reason is basic slave labor. You not only have to make
enough money to 1) pay the initial costs 2) invest in the company’s growth but
3) live off of. A good way to do this is to act like you’re an employee; would
you consume your life for free if it wasn’t your project?<o:p></o:p></div>
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But even if you aren’t an entrepreneur—planning
on traditional publication—if you’re going to work from home, treating yourself
as both boss and employee can help you keep your home life and work life
separate while still enjoying the flexible benefits of being in charge.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">HOW TO
BE A GOOD BOSS<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Okay,
yes, keep the employees on track.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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So the obvious job as manager is to make sure
lazy assholes do what they’re getting paid for. The thing is, in a healthy work
environment, this is not their main goal. Instead, good bosses will know…<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">All work and no play makes employees go postal.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></b><o:p></o:p></div>
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When you have a loyal
employee with a good work ethic, especially someone who cares a lot about the
project, it’s very possible they’ll run themselves into the ground. Even if
they don’t flip out, the quality of their work will decrease along with their
ability to handle stress. It is important to always make sure that employees
are making wise decisions—not just in being productive, but in self care.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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-Give yourself breaks
and honor them. A lunch break should be lunch only. Give your mind time to
collect itself without feeling guilty. You can work through lunch once in a
while, but it should not be a constant.<o:p></o:p></div>
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-Be reasonable about
how much can be done in a day. Know how long things take, what problems might
arise, and be sympathetic when shit hits the fan. Don’t overbook or admonish
yourself when something took longer than you expected, or you had an
unrealistic timeframe.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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-On that note, try
not to schedule yourself for too much overtime. Make sure you have days off.
Even if writing is something you do on that scheduled day off because it’s fun,
it’s important to have time to breathe, hang out with friends, and do nothing
without feeling shame. As a small business owner, yeah, it’s likely you’ll work
overtime, but if you have to do it constantly, it’s best to look for some
changes, whether that be upgrading tools, hiring out, or cutting back
somewhere.<o:p></o:p></div>
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-When you’re
self-employed, it can be difficult to know if it’s okay to “call in sick.”
Sometimes literally if a cold is bad enough to stay in bed? Or is it acceptable
to make a vet appointment during usual work hours? Can you take that personal
call? Go on vacation? Be a sympathetic boss. Simply look at things like
expected output, deadlines, and whether or not you actually needed to get
something done <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">today</i>. Think about
patterns of behavior, and what will happen if you push back the deadline.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">If you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i> more of a slacker,
why-don’t-I-ever-finish-anything, type, you may need to become more of a hardass
on yourself. It’s still important that you, as your boss, recognize you are a
human with a life; just think about what you would expect from someone who
you’ve hired and hold yourself to those standards.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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For instance, if you
get shit done, then putting a ban on personal calls during “workhours” is
silly. But if you tend to not be very productive, you might establish strict
policies for yourself, like you might in a work place.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s helpful to write
out some expectations for yourself and your “company.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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-What MUST be done
daily?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Schedule a routine so
these things get done first.<o:p></o:p></div>
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-Weekly?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Plan which day you
will do it on. Make sure to give yourself enough time.<o:p></o:p></div>
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-Monthly?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Do it on the same
date that’s easy to remember.<o:p></o:p></div>
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-Once, at some point?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Find a slow day to devote
to it in advance. Don’t schedule anything else.<o:p></o:p></div>
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-Make a list of
things you’d like to do and try to find time for one each day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Respect your schedule like it was made by someone who could fire you.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Keep in mind who you are. A good manager knows who they’re dealing
with.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Do you have set work hours? Do you have a list
of jobs and you’re done when you’re done? This depends on your attention span,
how you’re motivated, and what other aspects of life you have to fit in.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Do you have set tasks during certain work
hours? This depends on your organization skills and how to keep things under
control and stimulating.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Are you allowed to text during work hours? Be
on Facebook? Answer a call from your mother?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Can you schedule personal appointments during
work hours?<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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What are the rules on breaks? Bathroom, coffee,
smoking, playing with your dog, etc.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Is it acceptable to work on household tasks
during work hours? Doing laundry while writing?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Make sure these are judicious. Do not make
demands on yourself you can’t possibly fill. More importantly, understand your
strengths and weaknesses. A good boss knows that everyone is different and sets
up the situation to be the most productive. If you feel happy with your
productivity while chatting on messenger and taking several breaks to do
dishes, go for it. If you can’t pull away from Facebook, treat yourself like a
lazy employee who will get fired if they don’t knock it off.<o:p></o:p></div>
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-Know when to hire out work.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The worst mistake a company can make is
understaffing. And like any business, the likelihood of you doing so is because
you don’t have the money. Yet, when you do have an extra pair of hands stress
levels and productivity increase drastically; you simply have more time to do
it right, even when your person isn’t half as experienced as you.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Times to hire people:<o:p></o:p></div>
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1) When you’re inexperienced in an important
aspect for your work, such as graphic design. Of course, you may hire a graphic
designer, or you may hire a teacher to train you faster. Self-teaching is also
a great option, but you must be critical on yourself, and it takes much longer
than if you have someone who has already gone through it helping you.<o:p></o:p></div>
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2) When you have too many necessary
responsibilities to do within a healthy timeframe. If you are working 15 hour
days and no days off, you need to start delegating your work. This may be as
simple as say, having a company make your bookmarks instead of printing and
cutting them yourself. It might be hiring an editor, a graphic designer, or a
marketing company. It might be getting your husband or mother to come in and
just do a little here and there.<o:p></o:p></div>
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3) The money saved isn’t always worth the time
spent. (And homemade isn’t always cheaper.)<o:p></o:p></div>
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Before wasting your life dealing with a
frustrating color printer, do your research. Sometimes companies can do it way
cheaper than you think. In some cases, working for minimum wage and using that
money to hire out actually is more profitable than doing it yourself.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Remember your time is worth something. Yes,
slave labor <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is </i>cheaper than actual
labor, but cheap isn’t always savvy. If you’re really strapped on cash, there
are many options to get more hands for a creative person: trade services, ask
family and friends, find new talent trying to get their foot in the door, even
just buying better tools can save you money in the long term.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">HOW TO
BE A GOOD EMPLOYEE<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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-It’s not about what you can get away with.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Unfortunately, sometimes we learn that “good
work ethic” is “don’t piss the boss off.” Meaning that we know not to text
while on the clock is because someone will get mad at us. Once you start
working for yourself, however, you’re suddenly exposed to an entirely new
dynamic.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A lot of businesses work on this weird sort of
passive-aggressiveness. The company sets up tight boundaries that are much stricter
than they need to be so when you get those boundary pushers on your team, they
won’t actually be pushing them too far. Meanwhile, the employee does things in
secret, only behaving enough to not get caught.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In a healthy environment, however, everyone is
more communicative and upfront, honest about what is actually necessary. So
it’s partially the boss’s job to make sure the employee works when he’s
supposed to and not when he isn’t, but really a good employee is very
self-aware and loyal to the project. Meaning that the employee does recognize
when it’s okay to take a break and when it’s important that they get shit done.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The
employee’s job is to take responsibility for the work. Especially for someone
self-employed, the quality and progress on the project falls predominantly on
the employee’s shoulders. It is YOUR name on the line. The boss acts as a
support system, sort of a double check to make sure that good decisions are
being made, but a good employee doesn’t need very much supervision.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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-Decide on your own standards and needs, and
stand up for them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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While some people struggle motivating
themselves without a boss, others struggle to take care of themselves. Yes, it
is important that, while working, you focus on making the project the best it
can be, make good decisions, and don’t waste time, but it is also important to
have a balanced life, recognize what’s going on with you internally, and be
fair to your needs. Just like you would do if you had an actual boss, if
something about the workplace isn’t effective, the employee needs to
communicate that. He’s the one most impacted, he’s the one who will see the
problem first. We might be tempted to shame ourselves for being lazy or not
investing enough into our business, to treat ourselves as a skeptical, pissy
manager who doesn’t understand why you can’t work today when your kids are
sick, yet that’s the benefit of being self-employed—when you can figure out
your needs, you have a good boss who will be willing to work with you.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">If you want to be self-employed, sometimes the first step is to examine
why workplaces function the way they do.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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You might end up deciding that your instincts are
dead on, and you’re happiest without a company motto, a checklist, and a hat
breathing down your ass every time Facebook calls, but I find that utilizing common
managerial methods can do wonders for your decision making and being firm about
your boundaries.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-12244142291197823852019-01-18T12:56:00.000-08:002019-01-18T12:56:19.149-08:00When Building a Universe, No One Wants to Decide What’s for Dinner<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UvxB8pZVbyE/XEI8dwuHBwI/AAAAAAAACTA/GSA-WbfKR0MapOmUPuy6nCuByl-NdXTxACLcBGAs/s1600/1%2B18%2B19.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1237" data-original-width="1600" height="308" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UvxB8pZVbyE/XEI8dwuHBwI/AAAAAAAACTA/GSA-WbfKR0MapOmUPuy6nCuByl-NdXTxACLcBGAs/s400/1%2B18%2B19.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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It’s a good thing Snow White only met seven
dwarves, because learning more names than that requires a genius. It’s suggested
that the average person can intake seven new pieces of nonsequential
information, that multitasking drastically decreases the quality of your output,
and a high mental load can cause a break long before sleep-deprivation. Feeling
overwhelmed is the most impacting obstacle that prevents us from pursing our
dreams.<o:p></o:p></div>
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How do I motivate myself to clean my house? Start
writing a book. Things like cleaning or cooking don’t require a lot of mental taxation,
especially when it’s not your first time. But regardless how often you write,
telling a story—especially a fictional one—you have to constantly be making
decision. And if you’re building a world from scratch, well…<o:p></o:p></div>
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Now, let’s be clear, there’s a lot of writers
who love talking about what the characters are having for dinner. Hack hack
hem, Mr. Martin. But that’s just it. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Characters</i>.
The person who spends all day writing and coming up with new magnificent dishes
and the names that goes with them does not want to think twice about what to
make for dinner.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I find that the hardest time to be a writer—outside
of bone crippling hopelessness—is when I’ve worked jobs requiring high mental
load. Ones that I need to pay attention to detail after detail, schedule different
jobs against each other, and keep track of to-do lists. The mental load is a
real problem. The trick to being inspired can be to just cut down on those
little things weighing you down:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Make time in which you won’t think about
anything but writing, or let guilt get at you for putting something non-writing
related off.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Write a to-do list of everything with a deadline.
Find when between now and the deadline you’ll get it done.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Write a to-do list of things hanging over your
head but without a timeframe. Schedule manageable chunks with breathing time in
between.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Delegate and set boundaries at work. I find that
most managers are far more understandable than my coworkers expected, especially
if you have proven yourself to be a good decision maker.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Be honest about your work ethic. Don’t not write
just because you should be doing something you wouldn’t do anyway. Don’t not
write and don’t do anything else either.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Cut down on responsibilities. Think of jobs or
promises you made out of guilt or ambition, but aren’t really directing you
towards your goals.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-64303727697899312362018-12-28T13:32:00.000-08:002018-12-28T13:32:10.310-08:00What’s Love S’cot to Do with Character Sheets?<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">If you handed any socially awkward person a list of “character development” sheets as they headed out for a romantic evening, they’d laugh their asses off at the first question. Even we know how uninteresting and uninformative questions like, “What’s your favorite color?” can be. Quite frankly, anyone who showed up with that asking about your mother’s maiden name and where you were born would probably be accused of identity theft.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I’ll admit, however, that my abrasion to character sheets came from the same pace as my abrasion to formulas, rules, and just generally being told what to do. Truth is, I'm gullible. </span>Some<span style="font-family: inherit;"> advice is pretty terrible, and the vast majority of it is only good when evaluated with a grain of salt. Now, in my wise old age of 29, I think that beginners should be encouraged to explore and it is the intermediates who should be introduced to the formulas.</span></div>
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Joking aside, I have been writing prolifically for over fifteen years, and I've found that people who get hung up with these creative tools struggle excessively when it comes time to break free and show who they are, while those who played around and rejected outside advice have an easier time embracing (gradually) what these rules have to offer.</div>
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Because of the intense depression I experienced this year, I struggled to become inspired. My imagination was lost, gone like the wind, and I cared little about writing at all. I didn't like people, including my characters. One thought did not lead to the next, most brainstorming sessions painful and slow. I was struggling, deeply.</div>
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Part of me was trapped. I had not only spent the year getting 20 rejections letters over a lengthy period of time, I lost a small, local play contest with a total of ten participants. It didn't comfort me that I came in fourth place, nor that I respected the plays which one. I was sick of no one wanted to invest in me. I hate to admit it, but I do believe in love at first sight - or, at least, the power of the first impression - and whatever it was I did, it wasn't good enough.</div>
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So when my friend showed me the <a href="https://worsethanwas.blogspot.com/2018/07/how-blake-snyder-saved-adjective.html" target="_blank">Blake Snyder Beat Sheet</a>, I was elated. Finally, I learned something I could do differently than I had been before. Finally, I knew what was missing and where to put it.</div>
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In the last two months, I've had a surge of writing requests, needing to take the inspiration I did not feel and shove it. I became more and more engrossed in following formulas and other writing tips, and I've learned a lot.</div>
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While you will never hear me claim that writing from the heart is a bad thing, everything belongs in moderation. Those who stick solely to the rules will sound like it, but those who refuse to hear the advice of those before them will learn slowly. Having the ability to critically evaluate tools will enable you to pick out the dumb parts and find something useful. </div>
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After my sudden immersion into character sheets - a prior tool I found completely pointless - my ideas started flowing. It wasn't just the characters I understood (in fact, probably not so much more), but the questions asked required me to better develop the world. How do they measure years? What are the proverbs in their culture? Who are the famous artists and authors and singers?</div>
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<b>Character sheets may not ask the right questions, but they make you realize areas you're not exploring.</b></div>
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It made it evident what parts of their culture I hadn't developed. Simple questions for a modern day character became huge storylines. Some questions made me consider new plot ideas. Others forced me to really analyze the growth of their world. Popular culture comes across as an oddity in a fantasy land, but they too have their greats, their household names.</div>
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Mostly though, I noticed what my stock assumptions and choices were. After doing several character sheets, I had to change some things I defaulted to, having already written it into one or more other backgrounds.</div>
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And even though your mother's maiden name says nothing about who you are as a person, it does force the speculative fiction writer to understand where the name, and thus, the character, came from.</div>
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If you are interested in using character sheets, it's my recommendation to grab several. Utilize a different one for every person in your story, and at the end, take the questions most useful to you to make your own document.</div>
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Sometimes, formulas and rules about nothing more than getting you out of your box and the brain juices flowing.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-33428634509878156152018-12-10T08:09:00.000-08:002018-12-10T08:09:13.187-08:00Why I Miss “Because I Said So”<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ADcWkllzK9A/XA6PoSVyb9I/AAAAAAAACS0/PEWRQyK96CkG9ndn6z7cVHmIRrBP13MiACLcBGAs/s1600/12%2B10%2B218.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1237" data-original-width="1600" height="308" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ADcWkllzK9A/XA6PoSVyb9I/AAAAAAAACS0/PEWRQyK96CkG9ndn6z7cVHmIRrBP13MiACLcBGAs/s400/12%2B10%2B218.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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After receiving four messages of, “Are you
coming?” and two phone calls, I agreed to meet with a man who had taken a serious
interest in me. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, even though he knew that I
was in a workshop and I had told him I would let him know if I would meet with
him and a group of mutual friends <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">after, </i>deciding that he was so anxious he just wasn’t thinking clearly.<o:p></o:p></div>
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During this lovely dinner in which no one else
showed up, he proceeded to criticize me constantly, mesmerizing me with his opinions
on writing, love, and the world as a whole, I finally had enough of him when he
asked me to explain the plot of the book I was workshopping.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“It’s a science-fiction novel about a
biomechanic who falls in love with a brainwashed member of the cult who wants
him for heresy.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Why would he fall in love with her?” he scoffed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Well, you’d have to read the book.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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I understood the accusation as, of course, that
I hadn’t developed a chemistry or rapport between them. But, looking back on
it, I recognize some of the assumptions people have about those who “are
capable” of being brainwashed, and it raised a good question about a fight that
was occurring within me. What did Libra have that Raiden didn't?<o:p></o:p></div>
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There was safety in her world. She got along
with everyone. She knew her goals and she could ask—and listen—to most
authority figures about the best way to follow them. He was alone, constantly
having to make life or death decisions with no one to trust.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There is, in fact, a lot of appeal about
trusting someone enough to obey them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Of course, there’s a reason that mentality is
so criticized. Many of us have been burned by bad advice, or not being able to
fit into a formula. An older friend of mine spent her entire youth doing what
she was supposed to by marrying a Jewish man, being a good wife, not wiling her
way on education, so on and so forth, only to be left for another woman, blamed
by her children, and struggling for money to survive for the next forty years. Personally,
I’ve been checking every box for depression—eating right, sleeping right,
meditating, counseling, medication, socializing, following hobbies—and it feels
like it’s just getting worse as I progress.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Writers know best that there is no “right” way
to getting into the publishing world. Even back before the popularity of ebooks
there were successful authors—Gertrude Stein, Edgar Allan Poe, Virginia Woolf—who
made their start via self-publishing. J.K. Rowling got picked very quickly by
an agent, but rejected by many publishing houses. Andy Weir, Cassandra Clare,
and E.L. James got a following from posting free content online. Some people
met their agent in person and made friends first. Others submitted blindly to
the slush pile. There are celebrities whose fame got their novels picked up,
and those who sold the story on the merits of their pitch alone. Blake Snyder
never got famous for writing screenplays, but did manage to make his name
popular after writing a book on <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">how </i>to
write for screenplays.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The path is twisting and ever changing and that
in itself makes it overwhelming.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In recent months, I’ve been seeking out an app
that would tell me what to do. It would ask me all the right questions and give
me instructions on how to live my life so I didn’t have to keep thinking. After
all, diligence wasn’t working. I spent years writing every day, polishing a
pitch, and putting myself out there to just constantly be staring into a void.
Nothing seemed to progress in my life, regardless of my efforts towards it, and
one day… I just quit.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Knowing what to do can be far more inspiring
that being uncertain about the right path to take. What happened to the good ol’
days where we had teachers and parents telling us the right way to live life.
Not that I trusted them, of course, but it would be nice.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I often feel like my biomechanic, unintentionally
having stepped outside the system and no longer protected by it, wanting
nothing more than reassurance that, “If you do this, this will happen.” I feel
like I’m lost in a bleak world where one misstep—faith in the wrong person—can lead
to terrible, lasting pain, but standing still is not an option either.<o:p></o:p></div>
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For those of us who struggle to understand why
anyone would be eager to turn to a cult, how we can condemn those “foolish”
enough to be brainwashed, I would like us to think back on time when we faced
nothing but uncertainty and pain, and how much we would have liked to have
someone we trust, someone we have great faith in, tell us what to do. I don’t
think that feeling is unique.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But, it’s clear to me that any time I want
someone to trust, it’s because I’m spending too much time doubting myself. I
know better than anyone what I want, what I’ve tried, and what’s important to
me. I can make good decisions, give myself good advice, and just because I can’t
trust myself blindly doesn’t mean I should give that power to anyone else.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-81091799626743838352018-11-30T17:09:00.000-08:002018-11-30T17:09:43.634-08:00Types of Sentences and the Way They Love Us<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MBEUZGbSVUc/XAHfOmmHeOI/AAAAAAAACSo/QWmql_ePrOkMBrJfHhMYeKy5Q2JIl-qewCLcBGAs/s1600/11%2B30%2B18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1237" data-original-width="1600" height="308" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MBEUZGbSVUc/XAHfOmmHeOI/AAAAAAAACSo/QWmql_ePrOkMBrJfHhMYeKy5Q2JIl-qewCLcBGAs/s400/11%2B30%2B18.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I hate wanting to love something that’s so unlovable.
(Although I’ll admit that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">loving</i>
something unlovable is even worse.) Many times I see independent writers
committing to their craft, inspiring me with their ideas and tastes, creating
striking concepts and hiring excellent graphic artists, to only get to the
actual story part and cringe until my insides flip. We’ve all read a fantastic
concept was tainted by the clunky word choice.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Voice is probably one of the most subjective aspects of
writing, and readers typically have a love-hate relationship with the stronger
prose out there. From Shakespeare to Hemingway, you’ll see a lot of polar
opinions on the striking styles. So, when I say that the main common
denominator of cringy writing is the lack of flow, it’s notable that the other
common denominator is me. (Always, whenever reading anyone’s advice, consider
your actual tastes and what sorts of things you respond to.)<o:p></o:p></div>
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Facebook recently bombarded me with a webpage similar to
my own. His serial online fantasy of short stories had striking artwork and
alluring title. I was also seeking a frequently updated website to take my mind
off of the bitterness of Reddit, so I found myself clicking the ad link many
days in a row only to stop reading after the first paragraph each time, so it
was the quintessential right place and right time, wrong material.<o:p></o:p></div>
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What made the writing so bad?<o:p></o:p></div>
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Well, I felt the story summarized the events without
painting a picture. You have little understanding of the world or the character.
It’s not that you’re overwhelmed with confusion, but that you don’t care.
What’s going on within the character is unclear and underdeveloped, and, most
importantly, each sentence doesn’t respond to any other’s existence. He tells
the story like he’s listing events, with no sense for perspective, tension,
mood, or point.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In other words, you could scramble the paragraph and it
wouldn’t affect the rhythm or flow.<o:p></o:p></div>
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What does a sentence responding to another look like? Is
that something that’s important? From my experiences reading amateur fiction, I’d
say yeah. Understanding how sentences can connect to each other is a very
simple way of improving the sound of your writing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Standalone Sentences</span></b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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A standalone sentence makes its point without implying
follow-up or requiring preamble. That point does not have to be deep; “She had
blonde hair,” clearly exists to give a description of the character. While it’s
not enough information to be a story or interesting, it does not need more
explanation before you consider the thought finished. Typically, a standalone
sentence can be easily moved anywhere in the paragraph and still work. Deleting
the sentences around it does not cause a comprehension or flow problem. It also
doesn’t have an obvious next step. It could change subjects without it feeling like
a lost thread. It also does not need to be simple, merely that the subject and
action of the sentence are clear and feel finished.<o:p></o:p></div>
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There is nothing wrong with stand-alone sentences, and
you will find that you use them often. The problem becomes when every sentence
is independent of those around it, making the writing feel clunky as if the
thoughts aren’t streamed together.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Leading Sentences</span></b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Conversely, a leading sentence implies that the thought
isn’t finished, or brings up an interesting question that the reader wants
answered. “Johnny hated Susie for her blonde hair,” might not go into why, but
it makes the reader feel like it should. A leading sentence often becomes
attached to the following sentences and they must both exist (at some point) for
it to feel complete. Leading sentences, in contrast to supportive sentences,
are usually concept based; their style could allow them to be placed later,
turning them into a conclusion instead of an introduction, but they still often
need to be kept in the same area.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Supportive Sentences<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Supportive sentences give a follow up on the information
already provided. They might be capable of being a stand-alone except for the
existence of the leading sentence requires them to be nearby to make sense: “Johnny
hated Susie for her blonde hair. Light colored eyebrows made a woman look like
a chimp.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Supportive sentences often use pronouns to reference
pre-established subjects: “Johnny hated Susie for her blonde hair. It reminded
him of his mother.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Sometimes they need some information prior for them to be
understood or to have proper spatial continuity: “She started cutting her nails
with scissors,” may require her to find the scissors first, otherwise the
audience feels like they missed something.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Contrary to popular belief, starting a sentence with a
conjunction is accepted grammar in unformal writing, useful in creative fiction
to convey meaning, inflection, and evolution of thought. In the same vein,
there are other phrases and words that directly tie one sentence to another:
“Johnny hated Susie for her blonde hair. That didn’t exactly explain why he
felt compelled to follow her around all of the time.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Why does it matter? How to
apply it?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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When you have a series of standalone sentences, typically
speaking, the rhythm of speech is repetitive, the information is slow, it’s
unnuanced and can come off as juvenile. The author doesn’t have a lot of room
to play with the duration of actions, and you don’t learn anything about the
characters through descriptions. It’s often too explanatory and doesn’t have a
lot of atmosphere. Mainly though, when a writer has an understanding of the
narrator’s P.O.V. and tells the story from that perspective, they naturally
write a narrative with a smoother evolution of thought and events and organic
description of the world. When they write in an object sense, they tend to
summarize and be removed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Brandon and Kara went hiking but were unprepared for the
physical challenge. ‘Hiking is hard work,’ said Kara. She cupped her hands and
drank from a limpid mountain steam. They were in the San Gabriel Mountains and
from their elevation could see Los Angeles and the smog in the distance. In Los
Angeles city people lived in tiny apartments. The tiny apartments had tiny
windows.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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I might add this author does this intentionally,
admitting that he wants to be like Hemingway in his simplicity. It’s a style,
but one that I’m pointing out due to the clear way it affects the flow (which
is a choice you may want at some point.) The thoughts are disjointed from
another and can be moved around fairly easily. The drinking of the stream isn’t
what inspires the narrator to think about where they are; the author includes
it because it’s information he wants the reader to know and feels it’s the
right location for the bigger story, not typical train of thought. He also
(intentionally) doesn’t use pronouns very often, which makes something that
normally flows together (the windows in the apartments) feel like separate
thoughts as well.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But, there are a good number of writers who do this
unintentionally, and if you find this as clunky and Dick-and-Jane-ish as I do,
then there’s a couple of ways to watch out for it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Figure out the P.O.V. character<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Writers can get unwittingly hung up on being objective.
If you consciously decide to go that route for whatever reason, many writers
can make it work and it certainly can serve a purpose. But most people read
because they want to feel a human connection and see different perspectives on
the world. Even a fantasy fiction writer will often have a much more
charismatic style when the story is told through a human lens instead of a
robotic camera, and readers learn more from (yes even fiction) writers who are
honest about their opinions on humanity, the way the world works, and what’s
important.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Who is telling the story and how do they think? Is it
Kara? Charles? Another character? God? The author himself? All of the above? You
are creatively free to decide whatever you like, just so long as you know whose
voice is being conveyed and at what times. Description is typically not
objective, and the way that Kara or Charles or God describe something won’t be
the same. How the story is told teaches the reader more about the people
involved than when you’re just stating facts.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Next, consider alternative
ways to tell a story instead of linear events<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Paragraphs of only description tend to be victim to too
many standalone sentences. This is because when you’re depicting a stagnant
image, the order of the objects doesn’t exactly matter, so many authors will
start listing thing. Using the P.O.V. character, however, you get better ideas
about how to make the description flow naturally. Kara bends down to take a
drink from the pond, sees the reflection of Charles staring out at the city,
and so turns to the city herself. The narrative now flows together, incorporating
the descriptions naturally, and you don’t feel like you’re clinically being
handed information.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Authors also don’t have to describe an entire scene
first, just because the objects were there first, but can progress the events
of a scene by sprinkling description throughout. Mentioning objects and places as
the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">character </i>notices them will make
it feel more organic and less bogged down with artsy long passages of what
every thing looks like.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Also, the same applies when avoiding a practical play-by-play
during the actions of the scene, which is important because…<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Length of sentence implies
duration of action.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Telling the story in the way a person would remember it
or in order of what they saw makes it easier to control the duration of an
action. Punching someone is fairly quick. Driving down the freeway is much
longer. However, when it takes the same amount of time to describe it, to the
reader, it doesn’t feel like the timing is right and tension is decreased.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Davi went to sleep on the second story of a large inn.
Despite this, he woke up the next morning staring at the sky on a slab
surrounded by debris. Half the roof sat at an angle next to him on the ground.
A drop of dew fell off before the wind caught it and directed straight to his
forehead.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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The major problem here really is the length—they’re all
the same size despite each taking grossly different times to do. And in many
cases in this story, the author “zooms in” on small, quick events like the drop
hitting him in the forehead, while glossing over things that would have taken
much longer, (falling asleep, traveling a good distance) and things that are
much more important and interesting (like the revelation that the inn was gone.)<o:p></o:p></div>
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This isn’t inherently a bad thing, but his actual pacing consistently
fights his desired tension. The jokes don’t land, the fear doesn’t grow, and
the timing is generally off. The length of his sentences don’t serve a greater
purpose, and they tend to lack that narrative flow I’m speaking about.<o:p></o:p></div>
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By thinking of the character’s mindset about all of
this—even if the author decides he doesn’t want to describe the internal
aspects—and following his train of thought, connecting some ideas to one
another, the prose would be less clunky and more indicative of the mood the
author wanted. Though I know it was unintentional, it was clear that he wanted
each idea self-contained. Being in a large inn, waking up, the debris, and the
dew drop were all separate thoughts and had their own single sentences.
However, many of them should have been broken up into separate ideas and given
transitions connecting them to one another. The reader needs to be given time
to adjust to the normalcy of falling asleep at the inn, then comprehend it is
suddenly gone, then look for clues about what had happened. Based on the speed
in which the story is told, it feels like the character has already accepted
the strangeness of the situation long before the reader even comprehends what
exactly they are looking at.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Read the story. Out loud,
but also not.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Sometimes beginning authors find themselves overwhelmed
to what they’re supposed to be looking for when editing, and I never feel like
there’s a lot of specifics other than forbidden words. When I started writing,
it was a long and confusing path to really identify what cause contributed to
what effect, without many people being helpful. Looking for the above signs and
understanding how they related to each other took me longer to figure out than
I wanted.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But, all that being said, most times, you will see things
you can improve simply by reading what you’ve written. Most people suggest to
do it out loud, and in this case, the lack of cadence really will become
obvious by doing this. Mostly though, read your own writing. It’s the best
advice I can offer and really doesn’t take a lot of effort. It’s less of an ego
punch than being told, and most people are fairly savvy about what they need to
do with their writing all by themselves—just so long as they sit down and
actually look at what they’ve done.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Your story should flow from sentence to sentence, thought
to thought, and how a story is told gives you just as much information about
what’s being said. Check your writing for mechanical tendencies, and remember
that people like people, even if it is a love-hate relationship.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arimo" , serif; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px;">Following </span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/follow-blog.g?blogID=5814218766146533699" style="color: #6a6a6a; font-family: arimo, serif; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px; text-decoration-line: none;">What's Worse than Was</a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-58188828675031213412018-11-29T08:09:00.000-08:002018-11-29T08:09:45.852-08:00An Easy Way to Tell If Your Book is “Good Enough”<br />
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“Good” isn’t a very good word to use when discussing
art. It means different things to different people, and the word coming from
the same pair of lips can evolve depending on the context. While I’d be the
first to say that if you’re questioning whether or not your book is good
enough, you should trust your instincts telling you that it can be better, but
a more effective means actually might be just defining what “good” could
possibly mean.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Is this
intellectually stimulating?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">(Does it
make you think?)<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
A good book will activate your brain and make
you curious, learn, or engage in some form of puzzle solving. Every scene—and to
some extent even line—should teach you something new. But that doesn't mean it has to be calculus or the meaning of life. Maybe it's just that, "Oh, there ARE cows in this world!" Maybe it's, "Man, he's an asshole when he's stressed!" It <i>might</i> be grandiose, causing
you to question the greater philosophy in life, or it might be factual,
literally giving you interesting trivia about sharks, or it might just be related to the story, changing your perception on what you thought about who and what you were seeing.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
Intellectually stimulating isn’t confined to rich
literary books, the mystery genre thrives on causing a reader to speculate, question,
seek out information, and try to find answers before the characters do.</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
If you’re questioning whether or not a scene is
“necessary” or if your book is interesting, ask yourself if the reader is
learning anything, has their sense of curiosity stimulated, or is asking
questions. If not, it might be that you’re not giving enough new material or prodding enough of their unknowns. Go back through and make sure the “point”
of each scene adds new info—even if that just answers a question the reader might be wondering. Most importantly, give your reader a heads up that they don’t know
something important. Don’t try to keep everything a surprise until the end.
Give out plot points over the course of the book and make it very clear when
there is a question that has of yet to be answered instead of just springing it
on them. (And if you do have a twist you want no one to guess, make sure there
are plenty of other questions being asked <i>and </i>answered before then.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Is this emotionally
stimulating?<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">(Does it
make you feel?)</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
Alright, makes sense. But what about those genres
that completely lack nuance or surprise? The formulaic romance novels that some
people gulp down like a dog who hasn’t had food for a whole five minutes?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
Well, a book doesn’t always have to raise questions
or wonder. Quite frankly, predictable books usually do far better than ones
that leave too much to the imagination (re: don’t tell you what they’re about until
three pages until the end for fear of spoiling it). That’s because books are a
means for people to feel things when life isn’t getting them what they need. We
live vicariously through the characters in order to love, laugh, and win when we lack that sort of excitement in the real world. We want the catharsis of crying and the jolt of fear.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
Life teaches us to protect ourselves from these
emotions though, so it’s not uncommon for new writers to attempt to save
characters from conflict and other intense feelings by making everyone friendly,
things go pretty well, and just write sort of a dull story about someone who is
navigating their world decently. Realistic usually, but that’s often the
problem. If we wanted to experience a world lacking drama or mood swings, we’d
just go back to our day jobs.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
The most common reasons that a book isn’t activating
people’s emotions is that...</div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
1) It needs to be pushed farther. Scarier, funnier, happier,
angrier, more erotic. Usually the idea is there, but the writer didn’t take it as far as he could. Most books just need "more" in their scenes. Have the characters push each other's buttons, say the wrong things, do something stupid. </div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
2) There’s not enough variety. Playing a mood can kill a book, and
if you look at most story formulas, they often suggest high contrast. Failure,
failure, success. Drama, drama, humor. Loneliness, loneliness, wanted. Polar emotions
can intensify each other, so it’s a good idea to make sure your scene of two
characters fighting has <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">some </i>agreement
and, yes, even bonding, as well as that no scene exists solely to explain. If the scene is really about explaining how the magic of the world works, make the explainer patronizing and the listener pissed off. Emotions are contagious.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
After you’ve written something and you're wondering if it goes far enough, ask yourself
what the reader should be feeling at multiple points, especially towards the
end. It’s not a big deal if some scenes are intellectually founded without a
great deal of emotion, but you’ll notice quickly if the emotional aspects are
pretty muted throughout.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">If a
scene doesn’t keep the reader either intellectually or emotionally activated,
that scene is boring.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpLast">
Or, at the very least, not meeting its full potential.
Don’t overwhelm the audience with constant new information or worry that not
every scene is a tear-jerker. They’re not supposed to be. Sometimes the feeling
of reprieve is extremely valuable, and you want different degrees and types of reactions. However,
when people feel like something is missing, that maybe their work doesn’t have
that magic, thinking logically about the intended impact (to our brains or our hearts) can better answer if it's your insecurity or your brain talking.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-50250993926577474512018-11-16T10:47:00.000-08:002018-11-16T10:47:00.174-08:00Choice be a Chick Tonight<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpFirst">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
He didn’t show up to two rehearsals so far.
This was after I requested three times for him to check the schedule and make
sure that he could attend all of them. Not a word.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
The young man gave me a strange conflict sheet
when auditioning: “Known/Unknown.” That was all it said. He later crossed it out
and wrote, “Work 4 nights a week.” I was assuming he didn’t know which nights
or what times, hence his lack of thoroughness. Turns out, the first two he <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">was </i>working, one which I found out when
I made a point to contact him, the second when I called him to know why he wasn’t
there. He told me that he thought he had made it clear that he was working Friday
through Saturday. He said sometimes until six, sometimes until nine. All rehearsals
started at six thirty. He said he thought he’d made it clear that he couldn’t work
at all those days.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
He was also extremely condescending. A
neckbeard, of sources, a 21 year old techie who boasted constantly, introduced
himself via argument and disagreement. The first thing he ever spoke to me was
a criticism in a conversation he wasn’t a part of. For the rest of the night, I
never heard him once agree with anyone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
He had gained a bad reputation at town. One
person was his Uber driver, having to wait at least ten minutes every time the
guy called. Another worked with him at a coffee shop. Being late and a no-show was
his cup of tea. He ended up pissing off most cast members by directing and
criticizing, including the play’s biggest sweetheart.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
He complained about the part he got. He
insulted the writer to her face.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
I was going to fire him. I was actually looking
forward to it. There was some part of me, deep down, who really wanted to take
out all of my previous experiences with irresponsible and conceited pains-in-the-ass
on him. But I thought better of it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
I am a strong believer in the golden rule. I am
a strong believer that people can change.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
When I took him aside and chewed him out, he
was, understandably pissed. He accused other people of being too sensitive, claiming
that he should be able to say, “That’s a fucking stupid idea” as long as he
could back it up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
I did <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not
</i>say, “That’s a fucking stupid idea,” having him not take my blunt criticisms
well; instead pointed out not only how having a judgmental person in the room
directly impacts a person’s aptitude, and explained that even if he’s right,
that everyone <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is </i>overly sensitive, he’s
the one who faces the consequences. We were going to fire him. His reputation
around town was terrible, and I’d mentioned my stress dealing with him to a
fellow theatre producer who wanted his name so she could never cast him. I
somewhat wanted him to quit because I knew of people who I could count on who
had, at that point, done pretty much the same level of work.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
He needs to focus on his goals and reputation
and take care of himself, ironically, by taking care of other people. I also
made a big point to add that if you tell someone, “That’s a fucking stupid idea,”
and are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">wrong</i> you hemorrhage
credibility where, “Here’s what I’m concerned about,” doesn’t. He’d often come
across as naïve and oblivious on numerous occasions because of his tendency to
state things he wasn’t informed about as fact.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
He was offended that I made a point to say he
was replaceable. I told him, truthfully, that he should be flattered. I knew
that he could do better and so I was going through the effort to be clear about
the problem and hopefully aim to fix it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
It is harder to work with and redeem someone
who has failed you once (or especially several times) before than it is to
start over with a new player. If someone takes the time to tell you that something
isn’t working, it might mean that they need you, that they don’t think they can
find anyone else, but it doesn’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">necessarily
</i>come from that. I’ve never stuck beside someone because I thought I couldn’t
do it without them. I’ve done it because I liked them, because I believed in
them. And because I knew their mistakes were idiotic and easily fixed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
The conversation ended pretty well. It wasn’t
filled with only criticisms, and I pointed out how his insults to the author
(that his character wasn’t really about “acting”) was actually doing himself a
disservice too. There were parts of acting that came easily to him, hence why
he got casted after even getting himself off on the wrong foot with me. I told
him honestly that I was glad the ideas were coming easily for him, but that
wasn’t typically normal and it was a hard part to play. He was good at making
things his own. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
At the end, after the heat died down, I told
him that I just couldn’t understand how he could miss so many rehearsals (very uncommon
in my years of doing theatre) even after I’d told him to check the schedule.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
“I’m a certain kind of special.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
Thing was, he was never late or absent again.
He was actually the most punctual person from that point on, despite having
claimed several times that being disorganized and tardy was an integral part of
his personality. He had explained that he did these kinds of things at work and
internships and other places, confirmed by his reputation around town.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
My thoughts have always been, well, just don’t
do that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
I’ve encountered this several times in my life,
where someone who is severely failing in a certain area of their life refuses to
change obvious behaviors causing it. Romantically, professionally, or even
artistically, many people who can’t get a leg up are making obviously bad
choices.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
Show up. Be mentally present. Respect other
people. Put in effort to do a good job.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
These bare-minimum things are absolutely required
if you want to excel, and once you’ve made the decision to be a good team
player, it’s actually not hard at all. Even as someone dealing with depression,
who dreads daily living, I am capable of being on time, listening to people,
and thinking critically about how to achieve what is necessary.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
Procrastinating is a choice. Tardiness, being unreliable,
lying. All flaws are is really a series of choices. You don’t necessarily think
about them, and sometimes they’re so ingrained that it’s far more of an effort
to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not </i>do it. Yet that doesn’t mean
it’s going to define you, that you are incapable of achieving your goals
because of this tendency of yours.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
Today I struggled to get out of bed. I was
tired, like always, despite having slept fifteen hours the day before. How
could I mentally go to work? It’d been like this for so long, and I couldn’t
muster the motivation exist, let alone look at my overflowing to-do list. Yet,
I knew that these unproductive days were eating away at me, that I had responsibilities,
and so I made myself rise, go to the computer and start writing. And you know
what? I feel a lot better now.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpLast">
Sometimes the decision to do something is the
hardest part. But it is still up to you to choose what you want in life and
seize it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5814218766146533699.post-81727610761404250542018-08-08T06:42:00.002-07:002018-08-14T07:11:15.526-07:00The Checklist for the Organized Non-Writer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4zWjBlpKy-c/W2rxv1LK7nI/AAAAAAAACOw/2WQfgQMc7U0jukVpjrEF_73gjwHWH6PxACLcBGAs/s1600/8%2B8%2B2018.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1237" data-original-width="1600" height="308" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-4zWjBlpKy-c/W2rxv1LK7nI/AAAAAAAACOw/2WQfgQMc7U0jukVpjrEF_73gjwHWH6PxACLcBGAs/s400/8%2B8%2B2018.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpFirst">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
I like checklists. They remind me that I’ve
actually done something when my wired up brain is so intent on searching out
things to be pissed about. Sometimes, also, things can get overwhelming and
having them sorted out manageable action by manageable action can remind you
that it’s all doable.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
And that’s exactly what makes the checklist for the writer
being completely useless:<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
1) Nothing is a bite-sized task.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
2) It’s not linear step-by-step (but also,
thank God for that.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
3) It’s really hard and unpredictable to get
something checked off.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
After a bizarrely emotional few months in which
I struggled to see the purpose in life itself, I tried to pull back onto my
feet in the usual way. By giving myself a to-do list and a few little chores a
day, I could bring myself to feeling competent and get little reminders of what
success feels like. But doing the web comic felt repetitive, always one step
behind. I was too tired and unfocused to write a blog. The novels needed to be
reread, and the fact of the matter was I simply just didn’t care. I didn’t care
about creating or writing. I slept and worked all the time, and living felt
like I was just moving forward for the sake of it. Couldn’t stop, yet no reason to keep going.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
I decided what I needed was a checklist. I felt
like my writing career had turned stagnant. What’s the best way to fix that? By
figuring out what I needed to do to move forward. So I sat down with myself and created a sort of "What Must Be Done" list to give myself goals and feel like I wasn't the stagnant woman I felt.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Finish a novel. Fifty-thousand words in, I could do it a page a day by September 8<o:p></o:p><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Second Draft - Read through for pacing, flow,
and mark down any big picture issues like character arcs, dynamics, intrigue,
conflict, tension, and continuity. Sept. 13.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Get some space. October 13. (Work on another novel.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Third Draft - Zoom in on specific scenes that
are the weakest in the book. Oct. 18.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Fourth Draft – Focus on word choice, dialogue,
clunky sentences, consistency in style. Oct. 23.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Contact Beta Readers. Nov 1.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Fifth Draft – Respond to readers’ critiques.
Feb. 7.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Repeat betas, writers groups, etc. Professional
Edit?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Polish Edit. May 18.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Jackson Hole Writers Conference. June 30.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Edit from Writers Conference. July 16.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Query letter.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Synopsis.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->List of agents.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->List of comparable titles. (Read contemporary
books in the genre.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Submit August 1, 2019.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Create a marketing “persona” of my readers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Create a budget and marketing plan for existing
and pre-existing projects.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Gather more of a returning “costumer” on my
social media page.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Visit more conferences.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Rebrand <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Stories
of the Wyrd </i>artwork to be consistent.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: .5in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "symbol"; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]-->Get new headshots.<br />
<span style="font-family: symbol; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">-</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">So on and so forth.</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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As I went on, I started to seek out things I
might be excited to do. My list got longer and longer and many of it became
“redoing” work I’d already put in, or getting off track until I became greatly
overwhelmed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
For me to finish <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Take the Wheel</i> the way that I want, I will be waiting a year to see
any results, and even then, just because I can check something off doesn’t mean
that it’s done with. There’s too many variables and room for quality control.
And the main point is, the first thing on the list will take a while, while anything I can do "out of order" is also a huge time commitment.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
Even dissecting it into subparts still doesn’t
make you feel accomplished and missing the little deadlines I have (4,000 words
a week) can give my heart a pretty hard twist.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
I’m a hater of formulas and think everyone
should experiment with their path to success, that no little “checklist” is
going to help you get there. But seriously, why <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">don’t </i>I have some little dude telling me what to do step by step?
Why does every choice have to be so difficult? Every step like I’m carrying a
thousand pounds?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
Failure, whatever that means, leaves you in the
same position you started. Often just as blind or lost as Day One. The
truth is, I’ve checked off most items on this list in my life several times, and at the
end of the day, I <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">don’t </i>see my
progress, even if the little list said so.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacingCxSpMiddle">
Let’s face it. As a motivational tool,
this one isn’t a great one. It’s just a reminder of how slow and uncertain the
process is. I wish there was a means to feel like you’re actually getting
somewhere, that event he backtracks <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">felt </i>like
moving backwards rather than just twiddling your thumbs in dismay of being a
part of the void.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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On the other side of things, I get to check
writing a blog off my to-do list today. Three days late.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arimo" , serif;">If you liked this post, want to support, contact, stalk, or argue with me, please consider...<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arimo" , serif; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px;">Following </span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/follow-blog.g?blogID=5814218766146533699" style="color: #6a6a6a; font-family: arimo, serif; font-size: 15.4px; line-height: 21.56px; text-decoration-line: none;">What's Worse than Was</a></div>
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