I find fighting depression works best when I foresee it coming and do something productive. This week I did the opposite. I surrounded myself in reading material to exacerbate pain, fear, and anger. I have avoided working on the things that really mattered to me, though for a time I at least managed to procrastinate with some actual action before crashing.
It is always hard for me to finish one manuscript and move to the next, but this week, combined with passive stressors that started to grind their way into me, it has been ridiculous. I have done nothing. I can't even watch television.
I have been afraid of social media, blogging, and interacting in general. This is nothing new. But despite my attempts to avoid drama, I find I have little control over it. Not so long ago, I allowed myself to bluntly and directly vent annoyance towards an aspiring writer's attitude; no conflict came from that. I answered someone's question about Createspace pricing as best I could, only to be on the receiving end of a rant by that soon to be self-publisher. Already involved, I again allowed myself to respond harshly to his hypocritical disdain of his fellow authors. He immediately withdrew. Later, I would post a pleasant comment on a writer's status, an action that led to my Facebook friend see it. An argument ensued and blew up into ridiculous proportions.
And people wonder why I have social anxiety.
Emotionally, I have been retreating and that has only caused me to feel irresponsible and lazy. I have my quilt made for last December's giveaway, but I haven't yet posted the raffle. I've decided not to post blogs on Monday, but even today's was difficult to write, and I decided to not do a picture.
Yesterday was a bad day. Today has been a mixed bag. I strongly believe if I can clear out my to-do list, I can at least erase some of my current concerns, but right now they are compounding.
I am letting my readers know I will be off social media for a while. If you would like to contact me for any reason, even social, send me an email to DimitriPress[at]gmail[dot]com. I've decided to give myself a break due to the extremes of my current life changing circumstances. I will still post blogs every Friday, pieces written but never put online. I won't be doing next week's web comic. The next Story of the Wyrd will hopefully be up February 1st. I would like to strongly rethink my branding during this time and come back in a better place. I will be doing a quilt giveaway in February, so make sure to keep an eye out for it.
Wish me luck. Think about your needs. We'll meet up again.